People in my life should be ashamed

My great grandfather should have been ashamed of the way he treated my great grandmother, and my great grandmother should have been ashamed for letting him do it. They both should have been ashamed for letting my grandmother's sister literally go crazy and try to kill my grandmother. I realize mental health treatment in those days was practically torture a lot of the time, but living with somebody with untreated psychosis, and behavioral problems was torture for the whole family, and it screwed everybody up for generations.

My grandfather should have been ashamed for the way he treated my grandmother and my grandmother should have been ashamed for letting him. They both should have been ashamed for not getting mental health treatment for both of their children who were both completely insane. The way things were, one became a murderer and a hard drug addict and died before his children were even grown, and both of them became abusers of their own children.

My father should have been ashamed of himself for the way he treated my mother, my mother should have been ashamed of herself for leaving him only to go back to her abusive father's house, my grandfather should have been ashamed of himself for the way he treated all of us, my mother should absolutely be ashamed of the way she treated me, my grandfather should have been ashamed of the way he treated me, and my grandmother should have been ashamed of herself for letting it all happen right under her nose.

My teachers and so called healthcare providers by and large should have been ashamed of themselves. Any idiot could have seen that I was being abused at home. Even if they weren't going to follow through with their legal and ethical responsibilities as mandatory reporters, they could have at least been civil and fair to me during our encounters. Of course they couldn't be bothered.

The overwhelming majority of my former so-called friends and partners over the years should be ashamed of themselves. People think that both because I am a kind person, and because they already know I have been abused by pretty much everybody I've ever loved, they can get away with whatever the fuck they want and I will just nod and bow my head and walk in their chosen direction with them on my back. For a while, they even tend to be right. I am admittedly so love starved after living in this horrific world for nearly half a century that I would sometimes rather have the appearance of love, even if I know deep down that abuse is getting started again.

I cannot keep living like this. I can't go through life with everyone in my life treating me like I was put here exclusively to give them whatever the fuck they want even if it literally kills me.

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anonymous Other December 09, 2025 at 1:45 pm 0 0