JUST WAITING FOR IT TO END AT THIS POINT

Just earlier, my mom slapped me with fish guts… why? Well the electric bill came in and it was near double the usual.

I called her and told her about it, offering to pay some of it off to ease their burden. She comes home, and starts to cook dinner while telling me to take the blame, to admit that it was me who caused the bill to be that high. I didn’t speak or try to defend myself, learning from past experiences that they take it as “talking back at them” I just silently helped her around the kitchen. She just kept ranting how I used the air conditioning unit while they were away and it caused the absurd bill. This doesn’t make sense to me since the past month, we used the unit every single night and there were no problems. I did use it when they were away but it was at the same length of time. So when she started saying it was probably their use of the cooler (which I think is the cause), I told her “No, it was me.”

And slap! My ears rung at how hard she slapped me with a handful of guts. It smelled terrible, and I had just changed into fresh clothes too… without a word, I got up, cleaned the mess, and went straight to the bathroom to wash off the smell.

Yeah, I shouldn’t have said that. My fault as always. No tears, its not even worth crying over anymore. Maybe they’ll cry when I die from cancer? Should I tell them I have cancer? Nah, they’ll just make it seem like it’s my fault even if it is in our genes.

Im just waiting for it all to be over. No more pain, no more berating voices, maybe hell isn’t so bad since they’re convinced they’re going to heaven. Honestly, anywhere they aren’t will be heaven for me. I just hope cancer isn’t as painful as they say… I’ve had my fair share of pain and I dont want to die feeling that way… but with my luck, I’m prepared for the worst…

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anonymous Home July 10, 2024 at 12:02 pm 0 0