Do Not Want
I don't want any of it. I have never enjoyed being around people. I can never truly relax and let my guard down, and I always have this nervous panicky feeling until they go away. The only time I can ever truly be at ease is when I am alone.Being alone is addicting. There's no drama, no criticism, nobody judging you or telling you how to live your life. It's peaceful. Sometime boring yes, but I'll take boring any day over constant conflict and drama. Yet, as much as I seek it, people just won't leave me alone. I resent them for disturbing my peaceful life, so much. I have no patience or tolerance for people and their bullshit anymore.
Some would stay I'm stagnating. Of course I am, because I don't want the kind of life people would like to force me to live. I don't want to be in constant contact with people 24/7. I want nothing to do with other human beings, at all.
I'll never see people as anything more than selfish self-destructive monsters, and that includes myself as well. I can't ever trust them. Too many bad experiences. So many people are power-tripping assholes, petty backstabbers, racists, abusers, the list could go on forever. You can only ever know what people choose to show you.
Your next door neighbor could very well be a raging psychopath. My whole life I've felt like I've been caught in a trap with no escape, because what I want more than anything, is to get away from humanity itself and there's just no way to do that, not on a planet with over 7 billion of them. .
anonymous Other June 23, 2018 at 9:34 pm 1 0
5 Confession Comments
I mean you do you. If you truly like being alone go ahead . But honestly as much as I don't like people , I think it's would drive me nuts to be that isolated . Plus you have to work to live ...That would mean you have to learn to interact with others.
anonymous 8 years ago
anonymous 8 years ago
It's too late for me. I have too much fear and hatred in me to ever be able to interact with people on a regular basis. Maybe the isolation already has driven me nuts. But, I know that no matter what, the fear in me will always win. It has for years, and fighting it only makes it worse. My options are either isolate myself for as long as I can, or force myself to interact with people and be in a constant state of misery and fear until I take the only escape possible to me. There's nothing out there for me anyway. No, it's as much for the sake of other people as well as my own mental health that I stay away and keep anyone from getting close.
anonymous 8 years ago
anonymous 8 years ago
Honestly that really sucks. Im sorry you feel that way. If by escaping you mean suicide I think ( and I know this is what everyone says ) you should try to talk to your family. I wish I could be more of help for you. Sorry .
anonymous 8 years ago
anonymous 8 years ago
I think you should seek some professional help. I used to be like you and then I saw a therapist and talked my problems over. no one can isolate themselves without a cause for doing so. its really not my business and im no therapist, but im guessing you were abused either mentaly or physically? I could be wrong, but before you decide to take option b, might I suggest calling the hotline and talk to someone.
anonymous 8 years ago
anonymous 8 years ago
If being around people actually causes you anxiety then you should seriously look into therapy treatments and medication can be very helpful in breaking that cycle. It doesn't mean you'll start liking people or will want to be around them but it does mean that you won't have to suffer in additional ways. People suck and if I could survive without them I would try. However, complete isolation goes against human DNA so I have to be around them. Don't think of it as if it is too late for you because while medication and therapy won't eliminate problems it will help reduce the anxiety and pain to more manageable levels. Just like a person has to learn and apply what they've learned to be a good leader, most everyone in my opinion has to learn proper coping techniques.
Start with going to the doctor and getting something for anxiety. Preferably not benzodiazepenes as those are addictive. SSRIs are a good class of meds that can help. Sure they are for depression but they also help people with OCD, which is triggered by anxiety. These meds can initially trigger anxiety but if you start them, try gradually getting to the prescribed minimum dose. Then see a therapist once a week for a month. After that, join a support group. You can just listen. It often helps when you hear others going through the same problems.
anonymous 8 years ago
Start with going to the doctor and getting something for anxiety. Preferably not benzodiazepenes as those are addictive. SSRIs are a good class of meds that can help. Sure they are for depression but they also help people with OCD, which is triggered by anxiety. These meds can initially trigger anxiety but if you start them, try gradually getting to the prescribed minimum dose. Then see a therapist once a week for a month. After that, join a support group. You can just listen. It often helps when you hear others going through the same problems.
anonymous 8 years ago
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