idfk

i just feel like all i ever do is fuck up and Idk what is going on with my brain nor why i do some of the things i do. i literally know not to do certain things but yet i still do. or like i want to hurt my bf so bad yet idk why. i love this man so much to the point where i see my life with him, but all i wanna do is hurt him. I don't wanna cheat on him, yet my mind wants to convince him that i am, even when I'm not. it wants me to convince him that i dont love him, yet i love him so much. idk whats wrong and i always say the things to hurt him when i dont wanna say them. ik they hurt him yet my mouth and mind dont agree and i say it and when he hurts i hurt worse, especially when I'm the cause. i dont mean to and all i wanna do is make this man happy yet I'm the cause for some of his overthinking and shit and i dont wanna be especially because there is no reason for him to, but my brain say or does certain things that give the impression that I'm cheating or doing that dumb shit even when I'm not. idk

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nonono Dating August 30, 2021 at 9:17 pm 0 0