Dad getting engaged on my birthday

On Saturday I will be turning 18. My dad and I have a very complicated relationship which also might be affecting how I feel. The past 2 years he's made promises around my birthday and never kept them. We also have a history with him being abusive in the past but never owning it. I'm his only biological child who talks to him. Even though he hasn't owned up to the past, he's become a better person and even though he isn't a good dad I thought he was becoming a good person. I called him today to asked when he planned on picking me up to discuss the phone bill which I pay my part of since it was changing and we are planning on going to the store to talk to them. He then explained the plan for the day which involved me having to do some errands with him. These errands included picking up a ring and dropping it off at an escape room so he could propose to his girlfriend on Saturday... my birthday. I had already dealt with him and his normal rude behavior to me on the phone. Him telling me I was ungrateful and expected too much from him. That he worried I wouldn't pay my part of the bill even though I always have. I live my mom and I buy all my own clothes and pay for everything myself. I've been working since I was 12. I don't really ask for much but I'm used to him talking to me this way but it still stings and affects my life as I constantly feel unworthy of most things like gifts. I don't know why but hearing he chose my birthday to get engaged hurt. It's like I don't matter. That day is no longer for me it's for him. I don't know if I'm just being over dramatic or in my feelings. I want to know if someone you care about got engaged on your birthday would that hurt? I feel like I don't matter to him.

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Kaitlyn Home February 28, 2019 at 5:31 pm 1 0