UMMOTIVATED

I'M 12 YEARS OLD AND IM ON 6TH GRADE. TOMORROW IS CARD GIVING AND I KNOW TO MYSELF THAT I DIDN'T DO WELL THIS SEMESTER BECAUSE I HAD NO MOTIVATION. BUT IM SCARED THAT MY DAD WILL SCOLD ME AGAIN AND NEVER UNDERSTANDS THE SITUATION. I KNOW HOW DANGEROUS HIS WORDS ARE AND HOW MUCH IT COULD TEAR ME APART. I JUST DON'T WANT TOMORROW TO START. I WAS SO ANXIOUS LAST NIGHT THINKING WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH MY LIFE. IM SO DEAD THINKING HE DOESN'T WANT ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME OR HOW AM I FEELING. I ALWAYS FEEL ANXIOUS WHEN HE CALLS MY NAME. I ALWAYS OVERTHINK THAT HE MIGHT SCOLD ME AGAIN AND AGAIN AND NOT EVEN CARE IF IM OKAY. SINCE ONLINE CLASS STARTED, EVERYHING IN MY LIFE FELT LIKE HELL. I DIDN'T WANT TO OPEN UP TO ANYONE BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD JUST FEEL ANNOYED. IDK WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF ANYMORE. EVEN MY TEACHERS ARE DISSAPOINTED AT ME BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT I WAS A SMART GIRL. I HOPE PEOPLE COULD UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN UR YOUNG, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T HAVE PROBLEMS. IM SO SICK AND TIRED OF LIVING. I ALWAYS TRY TO KEEP AS POSITIVE LIKE PEOPLE TELLS ME TO, BUT EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE HELL. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE MY LIFE OR IF I SHOULD EVEN CONTINUE MY LIFE.

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Chris School June 03, 2021 at 5:04 am 0 0