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tortured by the thought i ll never be a genius

i'm going to college and have been suffering from this ever since sophomore year of high school. it's been made worse the past few months by quarantine.
i'm going into physics. i know, i know, i know that abstract thinking and critical thinking skills are ~60% learned skills, and that i can just develop more gray matter in my brain by exercising it more, but i just hate with a seething passion the fact that i'll never be a genius. i'll just be 'above average'. and i know that most people in academia are 'above average' people who have passion and work hard, but i can't shake the feeling that i'm this big intellectual disappointment. i hate geniuses. because i'm not one.
anonymous Body August 02, 2020 at 12:00 pm 0

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4 Confession Comments
You're lucky to have such a dilemma. I'm tortured by the thought that I'll never get justice unless I take justice into my own hands.
anonymous 6 years ago
to the anonymous who replied: how am i lucky? i've literally contemplated suicide on several occasions because of this. how is it lucky to be tortured by something you have little control over? and why are you competing over something so trivial?
anonymous 6 years ago
"to the anonymous who replied: how am i lucky? i've literally contemplated suicide on several occasions because of this. how is it lucky to be tortured by something you have little control over? and why are you competing over something so trivial?"

How are you lucky? Seriously? Most people aren't geniuses so not being a genius places you in the norm. i.e. You won't be singled out or treated any differently than most other people. Also most geniuses that I've read or heard of were never truly happy.

I'm not competing with anyone over anything or for anything.

"Here we go...vertigo
Video vertigo
Test for echo

Here we go...in slo-mo
Video vertigo
Test for echo

Some kind of trouble on the sensory screen
Camera curves over caved-in cop cars
Bleacher-creatures, would-be desperadoes
Clutch at plausible deniability
Don't touch that dial
We're in denial
Until the showcase trial on TV

Here we go...vertigo
Video...vertigo
Test for echo"

I like that song. Not my favorite by a long shot but very good nonetheless. That band is one of the few bands I've ever listened to where I liked every single fucking song! And they put out a shitload of albums.
anonymous 6 years ago
You don't have to be a genius to be smart. Being a 'genius' is only going to put even more pressure on you to get everything right. I too struggle with physics and abstracts, but it doesn't mean you or I are stupid or 'not geniuses'. I can run circles around people in other topics and I'm sure you can too. Being less than perfect in one area isn't bad, it just means that whatever the opposite is of that area you're probably damn good in. Do your best, pass the course and wait for a class you know you're good in to shine.
anonymous 6 years ago
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