Need some advice TW ED

I’ve been self recovering from an eating disorder that I had since high school. I honestly don’t know if that’s the right choice, because it’s been so hard to eat. When try to eat I feel sick, and it doesn’t satisfy me like it should. I don’t feel like I get any energy from the food I consume. I got a new job in a deli. I guess I didn’t think about how the food would effect me because I had worked in fast food before. But, it never saw the food out of the bag. Here, I have to cut meats and cheese and scoop food into bowls. I love doing customer service, but the food makes me instantly sick. I threw up on the first day looking at some noodles, and on my third day I threw up over some chicken. I didn’t go home the second time because at that point I had to think about my job and not myself. I go to work after trying to eat all day and I still feel sick. I want this job so goddamn bad but I’m sick of feeling like I’m gonna puke all the time and I wonder if I should just go to rehab and get help. But, if I do that I risk losing my job and possibly my partner. I just wanna fucking eat like everyone else and fuck everyone who made me feel like I didn’t deserve food or love because now I’m fucked up.

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Davie Work April 14, 2023 at 7:48 am 0 0