i cant figure out who i like

my friend told me a guy in my class, lets call him guy 1, liked me, though i thought of him as annoying. then people kept shipping us and mashing our names. ig at some point i actually started developing feelings for him bk i realized he's actually really smart and funny. then he found out i liked him. you'd assume i'd be happy, but as it turns out, he actually didn't like me and my friend got her info wrong. so i hid under a table during science class as all the guys in my class made fun of me. one time, sum1 ratted on me to my teacher and i got in huge trouble and was crying the whole day. I found out that apparently, he was the one who told on me because quote on quote "I wanted people to stop shipping us." so the next school year, i tried to forget i liked him even tho i did. I found myself staring at him when i tried not to. Then to convince myself, I told my friend group that I didn't like him anymore. People asked who I liked now because they didn't believe that I didn't like him anymore. Then I started getting attracted to this other guy in my class, let's call him guy 2. He was sweeter and nicer than guy 1. The only class I had with guy 2 was 4th period, but Guy 1 was in it too. every single class I found myself looking at guy 1 rather than guy 2. Whenever those videos that are like "the initial that like you is...." I find myself reluctantly hoping that it would come out to guy 1's initial instead of guy 2. I hate guy 1. I really do. He's annoying and rude and an a-hole. He's rude and no offense looks like a freakin t-rex with his mask down. But idk it's just that I know I like him. But guy 2 is nicer and sweeter and more kind and more mature than guy 1 would ever be. And to top it all off, my bff, who genuinely believed I didn't like guy 1, admitted that she had liked him ever since she met him and just kept it a secret from me. So now ig I am forcing myself not to like him even tho i rlly do just bk my friend likes him and id wanna break her heart by admitting I still like him. So maybe I might be using guy 2 as a way of not admitting whether I like guy 2.

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Anonymous Crushes January 21, 2023 at 11:26 am 0 0