I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING

I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE. I'M SO FULL OF HATE RN IT'S FUCKING STUPID. I HATE MY FREINDS FOR FORGETTING MY BIRTHDAY. I HATE MY FRIENDS FOR NOT BEIN GHTERE FOR ME. I HATE MY FRIENDS FOR NOT PUTTING EFFORT INTO THIS STUPID FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. IF I'VE LEARNED ONE THING ABOUT MYSELF, IT'S THAT I MAKE BAD FUCKING FRIENDS. MY FIRST EVER GROUP OF FRIENDS AFTER LEAVING MY OLD SCHOOL WERE FUCKING ASSHOLES. THEY MADE ME FEEL AS IF I WAS NOTHING. LIKE I DIDN'T MATTER, LIKE I HAD TO SEEK VALIDATION FOR EVERYTHING I DID. IT'S SOMETHING THAT HAS STUCK WITH ME FOR YEARS. THEY MADE ME FEEL AS IF I HAD TO APOLOGIZE FOR EVERYTHING EVEN THOUGH IT WAS NOT MY FAULT.
WHEN I FINALLY LEFT THEM AND WENT BACK TO MY OLD SCHOOL, I REUNITED WITH MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AND I FELT LIKE I FINALLY FOUND PEOPLE WHO RESPECTED AND LOVED ME BUT I WAS FUCKING WRONG. IF THEY DO FUCKING CARE ABT ME, THEY HAVE A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT!!! I'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH THEM FR SO LONG AND THEY ALL FORGET MY BIRTHDAY, WTF? BUT WHEN IT'S SOMEONE THEY'VE MET ONLINE, THEY'RE SO DAMN QUICK TO MAKE A BDAY POST WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 12AM.
IN OUR SO CALLED GROUP I'M THE FUCKING THERAPIST. WHENEVER SOMEONE IS SAD OR WTVR THEY COME TO ME FOR ADVICE. I ALWAYS CHECK UP ON THEM AND ASK IF THEY'RE OK AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE MENTALLY STABLE.
BUT WHAT ABT ME. DO THEY EVER WONDER IF I'M OK?DO THEY EVER ASK?NO. THEY DON'T. WHAT ABT ME? AM I MENTALLY STABLE? NO. I CERTAINLY AM NOT. IF I'M GONNA B THRE WHEN YOU NEED ME, I EXPECT YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED YOU. WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT

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anonymous Friends July 21, 2021 at 12:54 pm 0 0