When will it end

So I ordered some shoes. Costed around 19$ thanks to discounts and I'm very terrified of the day of the delivery because my mom has been really stingy recently. She'd glorify how she's not spending a dime on herself and spends it all on food and bills. I barely eat at home, I'm not happy and I've lost my appetite for a while now.

I needed shoes, my currents ones have gotten old and mom expects me to dress like a beggar— telling me to wear the old worn out shoes. I absolutely wish I could slap her in the face real hard sometimes. I've only asked for necessities all my life, my parents have never given me money unless it's for school or something very important. "I've spent so much for you" but I didn't want it. I didn't want to go that school, I don't want to follow the major, I don't want tp follow your shitty beliefs. I dont want to dp anything youve forced me to do!

Sure, we need money for food and bills but also you shouldn't mindlessly spend it all on food— which she does. And she cooks way too much. She only eats food that's freshly cooked so a lot of food's getting wasted. Then she blames it on me for not eating, apparently im the reason why all that foods getting wasted, I'm also the reason why her mental health is deteriorating. How am I supposed to take responsibility for things I have no control over? I don't want to eat her food, I've come to hate her. I have no affection nor respect towards her. I simply wish to escape from here. Yesterday night, she came to me and started nagging me, I listened even though it made my insides churn in disgust. When it got unbearable i pushed her out of the room and locked the door. She then switched off the WiFi, and turned off electricity to my room, out of anger. I should've flushed her phone in the morning.


Summary: I'm not allowed to have anything I like because of their poor financial decisions. And apparently I should be "grateful" for tye bare minimum I get.

---

sigh Home April 03, 2024 at 4:30 am 0 0