my house isnt a home

I dont know i feel like my house isnt a home its just a place where i live with 3 other people, trying to act myself into being a part of the family. Realistically my house feels more like a place i dont look forward to going and everything is just bad. My parents constantly show their dissapointment towards me and are completely relentless in showing it. They don't hold back in telling me everything that is wrong with me. Sure, only my parents tell me these things cuz they love me and i even appreciate it to a certain point but that point is way past where it is now. I feel like everytime i'm home my emotions and self-esteem have been so brutally destroyed that i am now numb to whatever my parents throw at me. I don't feel genuine affection in my house. I feel like my parents love me only because they HAVE to love me but if they didnt have to, all i would be to them is pure failure and disappointment. Not to mention my sister is no use either. She exists for her own benefit only and the worst thing is, she knows that i have a rocky relationship with my mom and she uses that against me. she knows she has a better relationship with our mom and she uses that to develop this cocky attitude around me. So now im just stuck here truly feeling like im literally withering away. But where am i supposed to go if i dont go home?

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charles Home April 01, 2020 at 2:43 am 0 1