i hate myself love that for me

I hate my best friends sometimes. I also hate my sister. They are the most stunning people. Like ever. I know this makes me a bad person but it's gotten to the point where I don't give a fuck anymore. The ugly truth is that we live in an ungly world where all people care about it first impressions, which is based of of how you look. I hate how I look. Your only 13, you'll get there. I get that a lot. I know i'm never gonna get there. My sister has over 10.5 k instagram followers. @tivphull dont say shes not perfect I know ur lying. She gets into these crazy music festivals. including coachella for free. and we all know damn well its bot becuase of her personality. Again looks matter. I dont have that. Back to instagra,I have 700 followers compare that shit. (But like my ratio is poppin ngl 700 to 300 thats litty) anyways, she is an instagram model. I compare myself to an instagram model who is 8 years older than me. I know it's a little unfair but I know i'm ugly. It's onboius. I can tell by the way poeple look at me in school. My sister weighs 108 FUCKING POUNDS. that is the same as me. im in 8th grade. It has gotten to the point where I am bulimic but I can control it dont worry. I hate myself, and my body. It definelty doesn't help wehn gorgeuos girls such as my best friend (The most popular girl in school) always rants about how she's ugly. Apparently my job is to sit back and compliment her amazing features, That makes it worse. Im always told that im not allowed to have "real problems" becuase of my age. Whenver I try to talk to my sister about things, she doesn't care. She only talks to me if my mom tells her to and i overhear these conversations. They dont know that. Whatever I tell to her, it always seems to be used against me in the next argument we have. "This is why you have no friends" "this is why ur ugly" love that. first of all i know deep down that i do have freinds no bitch I aint dullusional i jsut dont have a certain group i like hop aroudn ya know. Anyways, since im not the most popular girl i guess you can say, i am constantly getting ranted to by my best freinds. she always tells these stories about how these highschool guys hit her up AND SHE SAYS IT CREEPY. YOU ALL SAY ITS FUCKING CREPPY BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT THAT BOOTS THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR SELF ESTEEM BECUASE REALIZE. NOT EVERYBODY HAS RANDOM HIGHSCOOL GUYS HITTING THEM UP. BECUSE NOT ALL OF US ARE PRETTY LIKE YOU. THIS SHIT HAS DROVE ME TO THE POINT OF BULLIMA. My sister weighs 108 FUCKING POUNDS. that is the same as me. im in 8th grade. It has gotten to the point where I am bulimic but I can control it dont worry. I hate myself, and my body. It definelty doesn't help wehn gorgeuos girls such as my best friend (The most popular girl in school) always rants about how she's ugly. THAT JUSTS MAKES IT A WHOLE LOT WORSE. My sister glowed the fuck up form 8th grade to 9th grade, but i know that it won't happen to me becuase im me and she got all of the good genes. in conclustion, i hate myself and i just want to give up. sorry for the grammer i fucin broke my keyboard doing this shit.

---

Amber Body October 13, 2018 at 11:11 pm 0 0