For you, Gimse

I had this friend, I'll call him Dave. Dave and I have been friends since childhood, as our mothers were quite close when we were babies. We grew distant because of life doing its thing, but we met each other again through school without even realizing that we have met before. Dave and I have been through thick and thin, through all our ups and downs. Even after Dave left to a different school, we stayed close through social media apps.

I thought of Dave like a sibling, a brother to me, and I a sister he always wanted. Even though his messy family life, I always and never minded lending him a hand. He'd stay over for several days, not that my parents minded, they liked him as well. As the years past, whenever it was spring or winter break, my parents would be the ones asking to invite Dave over before I could ask.

For more context for Dave, and like I mentioned, his family life wasn't exactly the best. His parents were decently wealthy. I'd say "they could go to Disneyland once a year during the holidays if they wanted to" kind of wealth. Dave was an only child for till he was 13, and kinda the test child if you know what I mean. His father was a drunk, and he and his wife would get into arguments every now and then. His father also wasn't the best to him. He'd yell at Dave for his grade's being poor often, as well as a few other things I can't seem to recall. When his younger sibling was born, his parents treated their new child more gently than they did with Dave, and it only made him angry for being forgotten. He's often get into trouble and sneak out, common things kids do in attempt to get their parents attention. It'd caused his mental health to decline too, and later he was diagnosed with depression as well with a few other things I don't feel like its my place to share. Either way, Dave wasn't really "all there" some times. As he and I grew older, he got into several messy relationships to feel "loved" (Keep this in mind).

Huge time skip to last year. Dave and I are into anime and games, so obviously we go to conventions whenever we can get the money for it. It was normally just us, but sometimes he'd bring along his other friends which is fine as well. The recent one we went to at the time, he had left me behind several times to talk or meet with his other friends at the convention. I didn't care at first, but when we went to the 2nd day event and he did it again, I felt a little hurt. It's not like I expected him to stay beside me through out the whole event, don't get me wrong. It just hurt that he expected me to follow behind him. I was talking to other people because they had assumed I was by myself, and I had to tell and point to Dave and his group of friends saying "oh, I'm not alone". Funny thing is, my parents had bought us our tickets, including Dave's. My parents aren't as big into anime or game related things, but they liked seeing me and other's cosplays, so they tagged along too. They saw me trail behind Dave and his friends for the whole event, and talked to me about it when the event was over.

They had said that they didn't like that I was just following them as they didn't let me join the conversation, even after I had explained that they haven't seen each other in a while and Dave doesn't owe me his company to be strictly with me. My parents made a good point that a friend shouldn't exclude another friend just to catch up with someone, they'd invite the two to know each other rather than just ignore one. In the end of it all, they told me that maybe Dave wasn't as good as I thought he'd be. Obviously, I didn't like that my parents spoke poorly of a friend, and defended him even harder.

I feel so stupid that I did that.

A few months pass and its my birthday. I had never brought up what my parents said about him, and never did, so of course I invited Dave to stay over at my place so we can celebrate my birthday and maybe go out later. Dave came over the day before, and we did the usual sleepover routine. We talked about relationships and what my type could me like (as at the time, I've never been in a relationship), and Dave talked about this one guy that ghosted him and that he was kinda weird at times.

Ironically, that weird guy texts Dave later that night just before it neared the day of my birthday. (Side note: a fun thing I like to do and receive is to tell someone happy birthday the moment its 12:00, and vice versa) Dave was too busy texting the weird guy to notice it was already thirty minutes past 12. I didn't bring it up, as I didn't want to seem bratty. I thought to myself that him being here was enough, and even though it's something he knew I appreciate the most when it comes to birthdays that I shouldn't be selfish about it. That morning when we woke up, the weird guy and Dave have been texting all night. As we ate, Dave was still texting the weird guy even as he struggled to stay awake. We weren't going out till around noon, so after we were done eating Dave slept for the rest of the morning till we were going out for dinner. Even as we ate, Dave was STILL on his phone talking to the weird guy. I told him, hoping he'd get the hint, that we just talked about how he was weird and probably just talking to Dave to get in his pants before running to another person to do the same. Even so, Dave said, "well, maybe he's not going to do that again" and continued to text him.

I wish I could say this is were I decided he wasn't a good friend like I thought he was, but I still gave him another chance.

A month later, and Dave got the change to fly over seas with his parents for some event. (Small note: at the time, Dave is still under 21, but since the drinking laws are different, he was able to drink freely) Some time around noon, my parents and I are watching a movie when all of a sudden, I feel my phone just vibrate from notifications for a whole minute. I usually don't like to be on my phone when I'm around my parents for several reasons, but that's not the point. I check my phone and see a whole screenful of messages in a group chat with another friend, all from Dave. He had gotten shitfaced drunk drinking with his father, but his father had went to bed while Dave kept drinking. He was saying that he wanted to talk and if we didn't reply, he'd talk to one of his situation-ships for company.

To quickly describe Dave, he's thin and not physically strong whatsoever. I don't want to say this, but he's the perfect type to get kidnapped in a blink of an eye.

I can only text him, telling him gently to get some rest in his hotel room, but you cant argue with a drunk person over the screen. He said something like "I don't want to be alone in that bedroom, I wanna walk around and get some air". It went back and forth with us chatting, as I was trying to convince him to go to the hotel room, but it only lead to him wandering further and further away from said hotel room. It took a whole hour for our other friend to message him, demanding for Dave to get in his hotel room, and thankfully giving me a break as our friend (I'll call him Pat) carried the rest of the conversation and getting Dave to finally sleep. Pat and I talked privately, saying that this stressed the fuck out of the both of us, and not okay at all. Might I add, this wasn't the first time Dave had gone out and done something stupid, and left me and Pat in the dark concerned and worried. We planned on confronting Dave about this after his vacation and when he was back home.

Except, that day never came. We waited for Dave to text back after that night, sober and not drunkenly text us. Even after a whole month, we had gotten nothing but a brief conversation between Dave and I. We called for about 15 minutes, and it was about what happened. I told him what he did was wrong, and that before he apologized to me, it should be to Pat first for putting him through this kind of shit again and again. Dave "apologized". You know when someone says sorry just to say it, or say it because they're getting called out on it? That's what Dave's apology felt like.

And the fucking icing on the cake, the cherry on top... is that Dave never fucking came back.
He deleted his account, blocked us on everything, and left without a trace. He even deleted the group chat were all of this took place. On everything I can think of, he had me blocked or deleted the account entirely.

If "Dave" ever finds this, and I doubt you ever will, I really, really hope that no matter what, you remember me. I hope you remember all the times we've had, all the times you've taken advantage of my kindness, and how you just wanted attention. I hope I haunt you, I really do. I hope that no matter how hard you try to forget me, or replace me, that you fail. If you ever try to end it, I hope you fail. I hate you. I loathe you. I despise you. But most of all, I hope that when you achieve your dreams, hopefully being in the art industry, I hope that empty void you call a heart will never be filled. I hope that it's just within your reach, just brushing against your fingertips, never in your grasp. Maybe it's wrong of me to feel this way, but at this point I really just don't care. I hope you rot, you coward who couldn't utter two mere words without running away.

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Yellow Carnations Friends May 19, 2026 at 3:29 am 0 0