I'm No One's No. One

Since I was a kid, I was always the spare friend, child, or companion.

"I was supposed to go with blank but she canceled at the last minute. Can you go with me instead, please?"
"Your sibling doesn't want this, you can have it."
"I saved this for blank, but you can have it if you want."
"Your sibling wants this, so can't you just pick something else?"

I am used to hearing lines like this from my friends and family. Always the last choice for everyone. I tried to be fun, kind, attentive and loving, but why doesn't anyone choose me first?

They come to me if they badly needed someone, but who can turn to when nobody's willing to give me the same genuine care that I give them?

Why do I have to be the one who always shows up? Why do I have to be the one walking behind alone? Why do I have to be the only one left out when we split into groups of four, even though there are five of us? Why do my parents buy my siblings' favorite donuts and give me the strawberry flavor when I told them countless times that I hate it? Why do I have to catch all the leftover affection?

I am lonely, even when it seems like I am surrounded by people.

I just wanna be someone's No. 1.

---

anonymous Relationships May 07, 2026 at 10:29 am 0 0