English teachers are typically fucking screwy in my experience. The only way I got through their dumbass classes with my grade point average intact when I was a kid was literally by psychoanalyzing them to figure out what would appease whatever complex they had. It had nothing to do with the quality of my writing and everything to do with...

Sucking up to the one with the biggest ego on earth. Showing her a draft... 'I'm so sorry to trouble you, ma'am, but as a published author yourself I'm certain you'll be able to help me untie this knot. Something about this paragraph isn't right but I can't quite see the difficulty..." Actually there was nothing wrong with the paragraph but because I wrote it, it would sound like me, not like her, and that's what was losing me points on drafts if I turned them in before figuring out how to mimic her.

Making papers unbearably boring and straightforward so that the one with insomnia who graded everything at 3am in a pissy mood wouldn't have to think. I now speak to dementia patients in approximately the same way I wrote for her. "FIRST, Mr. Jones, we will give you a PILL. AFTER YOUR PILL, we will take you to LIE DOWN. AFTER YOU LIE DOWN, you will SLEEP for a while..."

You're not stupid. English teachers are a weird breed.

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anonymous 7 hours ago

The prime example of how to improve the grade is as shown by our fearless leederds...intimidate, sue for and buy the grades.

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anonymous 7 hours ago