Are we together or not?

Okay, so I started working at a coffee shop in my small town like three years ago. One of the owners was close to my age, and I just always felt this connection to him. He ignored me lol, and I never pushed it because that'd be fucking weird. I was just nice to him when I saw him, and ignored how nervous he was always making me. Then on Valentine's Day last year, he came into work and kind of flirted with me, and I flirted back. I assumed he was doing it just for fun, but over the next few weeks he started talking to me more and more, texting me and coming in during my shifts. One day, he asked me to drive him to the town next to ours because he needed to pick up his car. It's like a 30 minute drive, so I said sure. We started hanging out pretty much every day after that, and then he brought me to his apartment a few weeks later. I lost my virginity to him. He told me that he was still in contact with his ex girlfriend, and that they were in couples counseling. So I'm like okay what the fuck, like you and I like each other and are sleeping together but you're seeing another girl? Anyway, she found out about it and they cut things off with each other, and he and I started dating. I felt like a piece of shit, but he kept reassuring me that it wasn't cheating because they were broken up. Fast forward to November. He had moved to a different state in September, which pissed me the fuck off but we were kind of trying to make it work anyway, and then he started becoming the most controlling person ever and we were always fighting. He came back for my birthday and I ended up breaking up with him after finding messages between him and his ex. They were sending songs to each other, not actually texting but still, sending old love songs to each other???? He apologized and asked me for another chance, and I said we could try again. He moved back to tour town too. But now, he doesn't wanna have sex, he doesn't wanna put a label on our relationship, and he's being shady as fuck. Every time I ask about it, he says "you broke up with me." And I'm like, yeah but YOU asked me for another chance and now you don't want it? Idk, I think I need to distance myself from him. There's no way he's not with another girl, right? I'm not the accusatory type typically, and I don't wanna believe that he's cheating, but I already know he wouldn't consider it cheating because we're not technically together. I don't know, we still hang out and make out and whatever. He says he wants to have sex but that he's trying to fix his relationship with God and now wants to wait for marriage, so he's abstaining. (I am not religious, and I think that's so fucking stupid.) I genuinely don't know what to think. I'm so tangled up in it I can't even tell if I actually have feelings for him anymore or if I'm just staying because I don't wanna give up.

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anonymous Dating March 09, 2026 at 5:16 am 0 0