Why do I continue to give?

I have an older brother who has such a good relationship with our parents without even trying. He goes against their wishes, almost flunked out of school, and has to be bribed to join in on family fun such as movies, the mall, etc. They listen to every word he says and always jokes around with him, they tell him how smart he is and laugh with him. Meanwhile, I do well in school, I always ask before making plans, I work five days a week, I pay for most of my stuff, I do chores around the house, and I join in on family stuff without being bribed. I'll tell them about my day and... I get nothing. A few hums of acknowledgement, or perhaps a question. But most of the time, they just seem annoyed at me. They'll be on their phones and get frustrated when I interrupt them. My brother walks in, starts talking, and they put their phones down. When he and I get into arguments, they always take his side.
I'm called mean, they make jokes about me being a serial killer because I like true crime, and they just overall seem to hate my presence. Years ago, I had tried to stop existing and got yelled at, they begrudgingly took me to a psychiatrist and therapist.... put me in a psych ward where I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. The second my mom thought my brother might be depressed she threw him a surprise party. I just feel so out of place with them. I don't remember the last time they asked about my day, or how school was going, or about my interests. It makes me wonder how long it would take them to notice if I just kept to myself. Sometimes I just want to leave, change my name and go find someone who cares. Or even then just stop living like a ghost.

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anonymous Home November 05, 2025 at 8:23 pm 0 0