Upset over a scholarship

This happened a few years ago.

A friend of mine wanted to start and environmental club at our high school. Honestly, I just joined to hang out with friends. The thing is my friend is REALLY socially awkward and weird. And she watches too much TV and tries to act like those characters in TV shows but IRL people don't really act like that... so I think she just started the club because she watched an episode where the main characters started a club. I think she may watch like Disney channel shit lol even though it's like, under our age range... like We're in high school not elementary school.

I guess the club just didn't end up having wacky hijinks happen like it did on whatever show she watched because she got bored and just totally abandoned the club. Weirdly enough, I got into the club. My personality type is that I'm really responsible and can think of pretty creative ideas. So the two teachers who were overseeing the club backed me up as the replacement president and everyone in the club had no problems with that and voted me as the new president.

So after that, I really got into the club and did a bunch of stuff like put up compost boxes everywhere and one of the teachers and I went on craigslist and found a lady who was giving away rabbit poop (it's good for fertilizing lol) so we drove there and pick up fucking rabbit poop once a week to use in the compost boxes. We created a herb garden, a vegetable garden, and a flower garden. And we use rabbit poop for those gardens too lol.

We did Earth day stuff and turn off all electronics once a semester events and a bunch of shit.

And we got involved into community events outside the school too like planting saplings in a forest. And this is fucking crazy but we almost got to meet AL GORE. Note that we live in Canada and not the US lol. We were invited to this conference and he was going to be there but he ended up not being able to show up and we never got a reason so I wonder if it was some security issue. But we were excited about that.

I made sure the meetings were fun and we would have fun events every month and we ended up having a LOT of people join and it became the biggest club in the school. We moved our meeting room from a regular classroom to the fucking gym because of how many people were in this club.

So at the end of the year, we get awards and scholarships. There was one created just because the club was so popular. It was a scholarship for the person who made the biggest difference in improving the environment in the school.

Spoiler alert, I didn't get the scholarship.

EVERYONE fucking thought i would get it. I mean, OF COURSE I should have gotten it. There's literally NO one else who should have even been in the running. I was the president and we actually didn't have stuff like a VP, treasurer or even event coordinator because the club started small and I was able to do everything. We were going to make those positions the next year after the club blew up and had so many people.

Guess who won?

Well one of the teachers overseeing the school had a student helper (in grade 12 you can be a student helper for a teacher and you usually help mark simple tests and input grades or attendance and shit) and SHE GOT THE SCHOLARSHIP. She wasn't even IN THE CLUB. OMFG. She helped the teacher with some environment club stuff like after I fill out paperwork to for stuff she would take it and then give it to the school office. She never participated in any event. She was around a lot when we used the teacher's classroom and we would invite her to do stuff and she said she would feel bad about participating because she's not a member. Like she wouldn't eat the pizza at the environment club pizza party because she said she's not a member and would feel bad about it because it's unfair. She's actually a nice person. When we moved to the gym for meetings we basically never saw her again lol.

SO WHY. Why did she get the scholarship? I could not FUCKING understand. I seriously got so upset. SO upset. I completely stopped going to the club meetings and just fucking checked out. My friends knew I was upset and they were confused to so they asked the teachers during the meeting and the teacher who has her as a student helper says that the girl helps HER a lot with stuff. YES. HELPS HER. NOT THE CLUB.

I remember how embarrassed I was at the ceremony when her name was called for the environment scholarship. How I felt when I saw her walking across the stage to get the award. How I felt when I knew how much money she was getting for the scholarship.

It's SO upsetting. Why? I just cannot understand WHY.

I do not blame the girl, I blame that teacher. I don't know why she did this. The male teacher is actually very competent and I respect him. He's the one who picked up bags of rabbit poop with me and helped me fertilize everything with rabbit poop lol. The female teacher, honestly she's a fucking DITZ and she's pretty stupid and unreliable. I never really like sat down and thought these things since I was working hard or was mostly working with the male teacher.

I heard from my friends that when I skipped a few meetings she kept asking where I was and they did nothing during the meetings because I wasn't there. Since I was in charge of everything.

After missing 3 meetings, during my science class, she called my teacher to ask me to go to her classroom and speak with her. Guess what I did? I left my class and just wandered the hallways until the lunch bell and went back to my science class and picked up my stuff. Never fucking went to talk to her. What's the point? I would just seem like the jealous, bitter kid who is throwing a tantrum over not getting something another girl got. It's going to made out to be that way.

It's not like they're going to find a way to give me a random scholarship to make up for it. Like what, Environment Scholarship 2? Composting Scholarship? Rabbit Poop Scholarship? LOL. And they're not going to take the money and scholarship back from the other girl and give it to me - it's not that girl's fault. I don't want her involved in the drama. I'm sure, since she's a nice person, she's feeling confused and bad that she got the scholarship over me. And what's going to erase the embarrassment I felt during the ceremony? Are they going to make the school do a whole ceremony just for me? of course not. And if they do, that's even more fucking embarrassing. Are they going to make up a new award, give me some money, and make a ceremony just for the club? I don't want that either. I want things to have been done right in the first place. Fuck that to shit.

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anonymous Religion June 05, 2021 at 3:09 am 0 0