there is nothing left to 'fix' here

My family has been weighing on me heavily today cuz they've been depending on me too much for something I actually didn't want to do. I feel so embarrassed and miserable that I had to say yes to this certain important 'favor' that I owed them. I don't even know if I act like I'm really me when I'm with them because my voice pitch shifts in a slightly pitchier tone and I have the urge to run as fast as I can when something bad happens and my boundaries have literally been overstepped. I just think that I should really block all family members for at least a month and see how that goes. Am I a total villain for wanting to say 'no' to them? All I wanted was for myself to finally have a normal week. And now my mental health is even more at stake than ever. I feel unheard, unseen and misunderstood. Let alone loved, They only accept me when I listen to their orders, needs, boundaries and just stay fake happy for the sake of being present at events I don't even want to attend. I know that I also may have done something wrong, maybe I'm just too honest with my feelings and I just take everything too personally, but I want to keep THEM happy most of the time. Have I once thought of my own? Rarely when with them. I feel so ashamed for not acting my age too, and they constantly point it out, It's a part of my mental condition or smth but yeah there's just so much unspoken misery and extreme feelings of humiliation in the process of it all. Again, I may not be the victim and I know it.however, why would my family still let me into their lives? It's better if I just stayed hidden. That way no one can get hurt.

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anonymous Other July 23, 2025 at 4:02 pm 0 0