My friend

I have a friend we'll call A. A hasn't really been good at dating throughout life and when they do they either attach to the worse person (just because that person will date them) or basically becomes a semi-stalker when friendzoned or it's made clear the person their interested in doesn't want a relationship with them (whether that be just a friendzone or turns into a situationship). A also has a bad time with making in-person friendships and rarely attempts an in-person relationship. What's annoying is I've started going further in life. I'm married, have a child, moved to a different state, looking for a place, and starting a new job. A still acts like we're 13 with no responsibilities and like I'm free all the time or awake at all hours like they are, as well as acting like I have no real responsibility. A has a part time job and stuff but isn't working as much (they don't have A on schedule because they have full staff alr and A is more so just a call in and only used when someone can't make their shift or leaves early). I've tried setting boundaries when It comes to my life, schedule, and time etc. Which seemed to work for a while but it seems like A is wanting to hold it against me/ is mad about it. For example the first time I set the boundaries and talked about the fact that I can't always stop what I'm doing to video call or chat or that I'm not up all night like when we were kid/teens, so it'll take some time for me to respond if A messages late and most likely will be the next day before I'll message back, well A got mad and didn't talk to me for a while, going as far as hurdling small insults at my husband and acting like they could easily do it even though A had never so much as babysat a child let alone a baby. Well fast forward to now, A has found yet again another person of interest (a person online, same as most of their friends and people of interest) who has become a situationship after the person of interest made it clear they weren't ready for a relationship, and A is boasting about this new person and don't get me wrong, I'm happy for them to find someone they care about and even try to encourage they take their time when going into any relationship whether in-person or online so they don't end up either in a bad relationship they don't want or just so they can slowly and genuinely get to know the person and build a genuine relationship. Well recently A has only really talked to me if it's about that person, and if I say anything unrelated or try to strike up a conversation in general they'll cut their responses to short and cold and just all around blatantly not caring about anything else and seems to do the same if the responses given aren't what they hoped for. well call the person of interest C and the other night A had been bragging to me about things them and C had done on the phone and So just to keep the conversation I was like "oh haha me and my husband are the same way!" And it seem to strike the conversation up a bit but afterwards A just flat out stopped texting. Well A and I are best friends, have been since we both were 11. I messaged out of the blue talking about an injury I received and their response was very short, didn't really care, and all around kind of rude. This stayed that way UNTIL A wanted to talk about C and then messages were dinging every 5 seconds, talking about private stuff between A and C , bragging about personal sex life stuff (which wasn't unusual but just excessively done in these moments), and messaging only when it came to stuff about what A and C were doing or talking about. The main point is as of recently C is the ONLY thing they want to talk about, if it's not music or something A is doing themselves then it's just one-sided conversation about A and or what them and C have been doing or talking about. Last night I recieved a message a few hours after I fell asleep, about A being upset and I have no problem checking on them making sure their okay but I didn't wake up until about 3-4 hours after the message was sent as I had to use the restroom and figured I'd check my phone while I was up for a sec. Sent a response asking what happen and A left me on read. I'm getting tired of it, like I understand you were upset but chances are it was something like "C won't let me sleep, C won't let me do this or C won't do this and I don't know how to make them do it " (picture the whole, "go drink water" and the other person is like "nooo you can't make me") and not really much of a genuine issue. I can't just wake up and respond to you the second you click send and my husband sure as hell isn't going to risk waking me up for a message neither of us saw especially when I'm the one getting up with my child in the mornings and I have to work closing shift. Fast forward to now and they still haven't said anything, and I'm genuinely guessing it is going to be about something minute (not big) and it's irritating, I'm wanting to be a good friend and be there for A but with how A acts it makes it hard to even want to respond at all, like I could give advice and I could lend an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on but at no point is A interested in doing the same.

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anonymous Friends February 13, 2026 at 11:59 am 0 0