I'm so stupid

I hate ts so much I want to cut deeper but it's so hard. I think my frontal lobe has developed too much. Like wdym I used to hack at my arms for hours with a dull kitchen knife when I was 9 but now that I'm 17 with a sharp precision blade I can't do half of what I used to do. I feel so fucking stupid for even doing this. I didn't think sh was an addiction until last year when I realized I'm only doing this cuz it I've been doing it on and off for years and it's a sense of familiarity. I could be having the time of my life but as soon as something goes wrong I relapse?? I never learned any actual coping methods other than cutting and crying myself to sleep. I'm talking to a therapist now and she's all like, what do you do when you feel stressed... Idfk Stephanie but I'm sure as shit not telling you I cut myself last night this is only our second session. I'm going swimming tomorrow with my bsf and I know she's gonna point out my fresh cuts and she'll be disappointed. I'd rather her just be mad at me at least then I'd have a decent reason to cut myself.

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anonymous Body April 10, 2026 at 12:03 am 0 0