I'm not sure I'll ever be happy again.

I'm 36 and since I was 18 I E been going to the doctor's for irregular periods and depression, I E been diagnosed with a few things throught the years, migraine, diabetes, pcos etc. A few months ago I finally saw a gynocologist and was told I have a thing called Endometriosis hyperplasia. Basically a thickening on the walls of my uterus. With everything I have it's been different if not impossible to have children. The one thing I want more than anything in the world. Lately I've been given alot of information on getting coils puts in and jags to help diabetes but with all this I can't try for pregnancy. Im stuck in 2 minds....keep trying, keep holding onto hope that it might happen. Or take these medications prolonging being a le to try for it not to work either. Everyone around is getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. One friend complained to me that it took them 7 months.... I've been trying for 7 years. My fiance says he doesn't mind and just wants to be with me but I feel inferior, as a woman, a fiance everything I can't give him what he wants. It breaks the two of us we are the auntie and uncle for everyone. I'm sick of the people around me saying keep hoping, don't let go of hope....the hope is what kills me. Every time I have a doctor's appointment, every time I see not pregnant, every time I see an announcement. I die a little inside. When this all started a few years ago I lost myself. I suffer with depression and I wanted to die, thanksfully I got help because of my finance and I got over that but I'm not happy. Everyday I wake up and paint a smile on my face for the people around me, everyday I laugh and joke with nieces and nephews while my heart breaks. I don't think from not to the day I die I'll be happy again because the one thing I want more than anything I can't have.

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No name Other February 20, 2025 at 9:10 pm 0 0