I literally try SO hard

I try SO HARD. I practice violin for HOURS, and what does that get me? Nothing! At all county i played this solo PERFECTLY and i got 3rd chair. Let me explain. We had 4 people who wanted to do the solo. I played the best objectively, everyone else slurred stuff and shifted poorly. I counted and played it perfectly with vibrato. Perfect except for i counted to 2 for one 3/4 measure (missed a beat). I played it off, it was just a dotted half note. I got THIRD FUCKING CHAIR? I asked around and people also said they assumed i would get first chair. I actually hate the conductor. I think he's sexist because he only picked two girls even though they actually sucked ass dude. Literally B.S. i'm so SO mad, i actually ran out of the room in tears. I WORK SO HARD. This always happens. People always outshine me no matter what. Im literally never good enough. I got 3rd chair in a competitive orchestra
I got 4th chair in my orchestra concert
I got 8th chair 2 months ago
I suck regardless of how much i practice. Ive given up all other hobbies for WHAT?? NOTHING!

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Allen School May 15, 2026 at 10:18 pm 0 0