FINALLY, I Quit Fakebook, FUCK FACEBOOK

I joined this fucking joke of a social media site 20 years ago because I had a moderatley popular early YouTube channel and people were asking me if I had a FB profile to hang out at. It has long since outlived it's usefulness and therefore I'm glad I'm gone. And Now I can tell all the nasty shit about this site and why I hate it so much.

First off, I hate the fact that for some dumb reason it's the universal social hub for everyone. It was hard to quit, not because I did not want to, or was worried about my "investment", it was because my spouse would get bombarded with people who treat us like some kind of goddamn celebrity couple...people LOVE Drama, I went through this shit with LiveJournal 25 years ago, so I want NOTHING to do with drama. So then I have to mosey on back and have this dumb-ass app on my phone, and visit this dumb ass website, and be careful what I post, and be careful what I say, because someone else has a fucking opinion on it. You know what, FUCK ALL YOUR OPINIONS AND GO FUCK YOURSELVES!! I even spent a period of time poking the hornet's nest and deliberately TRYING to get in Facebook jail....to find that magical mixture of words that would get my heavily modified to the point of ridiculousness profile in FB jail. But I guess since (Skid-)Mark Fuckerberg turned MAGA, there's no way that's happening again. Apparently I can talk about shooting people in the fucking head or encourage idiot politicians to kill themselves and still have a perfectly fine account. Christ, I bet they would give a profile to to John Gacy for fuck sake! And any platform willing to give that piece of shit a profile, IS NOT A PLATFORM I WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH!

Another reason I wanted to leave - POLITICS!! Politics every fucking where. And tons of fake news, real news with clickbait titles, lots of lamestream news that talks so corporate I feel like someone's reciting the mission statement from a goddamn website instead of being told anything going on in the world. The gross mix of woke and anti-woke ideologies going around makes me just want to beat everyones heads off with a big fucking baseball bat covered in nails! Whether it's some fat boomer Nazi **** MAGA Gravy Seal with an AR-15 he can't even see over the sights from because of his Man Boobs, whining about "libtards" and "the illegals" or some woke-ass shit for brains libtard telling us to all grab hands and sing "Kum By Yah" in a "Peace Circle" over a bunch of the same MAGA Cucks killing people because somehow just sitting in a peace circle and getting shot is some form of "Resistance" - NO YOU FUCKS, ARM UP AND PROTECT YOURSELVES AND DON'T BE FUCKING STUPID!!! And then you have the ones angry enough to do self-preservation but somehow me venting by talking about making my own face mask out of the meat of a Gravy Seal's face is "over the top". Honestly, I'm tired of both sides.

So I hate the platform, I hate the people on it, what do I do, stay on this wretched platform because a bunch of people are so miserable with their own fucking lives they feel the insatiable need to live vicariously through mine? LIVE YOUR OWN FUCKING LIFE FOR FUCK SAKE! Christ, now I know why Celebrities go fucking insane! But I'm not that mentally unstable to pick up a heroin habit to deal with it.

Seriously, Millennials have to be one of the most pathetic generations on social media. They are the reason I Call it "Fakebook". So many are parents with children who have little understanding of security controls and post pictures of their crotch goblins all over the damn platform talking about them like mother Theresa. Then they come to our house, and talk about the damn kid like they make the orphan from Problem Child look like a goddamn saint! Every one of your friends are as fake as a styrofoam brick upside the head. And BTW, Millennials collect "Friends" like they collect fucking Pokemon! 215 fucking friends? Who the hell do you think you are? some kind of goddamn celebrity. 90% of those people just clicked "follow and friend" to be "nice" one day while you were drunk at a bar when ya'll said "hey, wanna trade socials?".

Even yourself isn't safe. Women get self-esteem and body image issues due to the rampant ads for menopausal aids and constant pestering by skinny models that look like Kristi Noem on crack talking about some shit she learned from Walker Texas Ranger that will make you younger. Men get bombarded with red-flag th0ts if they just barely see nice looking lady's picture for more than a second. Hate Microsoft? Microsoft Ads all fucking day long. Constant bombardment by independent news networks with bullshit clickbait titles - I'm looking at you Medias Touch Network and Legal AF - "Trump in big trouble in court today" "Trump's term is about to end" "Vance Makes Grave Error" - all day long, giving us "hope" for shit so minor you might as well be blabbing about two kids beating each other up on a 4th grade playground - I'm sure the twit in chief would love to watch that one! Constant bombardment by bootlicker corporate news. Constant bombardment by non-political bullshit....just constant bombardment for engagement! It's enough to drive you straight into a straight jacket - maybe that's the idea based on the BetterHelp ads I started getting when people started telling me I need fucking Therapy while trying to get deleted so my spouse can't bitch about all the "lost history" - who the fuck cares, we have 9 - count' em - NINE FUCKING PHOTO ALBUMS AT HOME WITH PHYSICAL FUCKING PHOTOS, I DON'T THINK LOSING FAKEBOOK IS GOING TO LOSE OUR GODDAMN HISTORY IN THE SLIGHTEST! And that's not including four different cloud accounts and a home based fucking server.

Yeah, fuck Facebook, Fuck Fuckerberg, and fuck the people on it. May their server farm get a roof leak, and their insurance company go out of business just before!

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anonymous Computers January 17, 2026 at 12:07 am 0 0