and sorry i impersonated people /gen good gawd
i dont do that anymore trust. i discovered it was DID (and all the delusion shit mixed in) and my method of coping with that without a diagnosis was the character stuff
idk why i did allat otherwise

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subspace t. mine 6 hours ago

idk. ik im not the lesser of two evils anymore but its nice being a huge bitch to you after everything you did. i can sleep perfectly at night. most of the time. sometimes i feel bad but ive always dealt with not having consistent emotions so sometimes i hate you and sometimes i miss you and sometimes i get sad thinking about you and sometimes it all amuses me and sometimes idgaf but ig thats what eupd does to you. its like that one time i apologized and i meant it but then fell back into being angry out of nowhere. you wouldnt care now but you made me cry my eyes out so many times before shit went downhill because you always had smt new to be pissed off about and ig i gradually began hating you and ill keep doing and saying things to make you feel awful and anxious even if i end up acting way different than i actually am and saying things i usually never would. its only you. i hate alot of people but youre the only one i truly want to bring down. now i wont say some stupid shit like “you made me an angry ass hater” because thats retarded af but ive changed alot in good and bad ways because of our friendship. most of the stuff i say to you i either dont agree with or would never say to anyone else but it makes you upset and that in general makes me happy. idk if ill ever feel like youve had enough because one moment youre suggesting we be calm enemies and not aggressive ones then the next were back to square one which makes me think you almost want it so you can forget abt what how you treated me and focus on how i treat you now so you dont ever think about it. sorry for the yap session, i lowk got carried away but ig for now i wont do it but if i start feeling tempted again which could be triggered by absolutely nothing at all ill try to think back on this. im tired so im gonna crash bye ill check back on this sometime in the foreseeable future

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honey 4 hours ago

DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN HOLY YAP I SPAT OUT MY NASTY ASS GRAPE WATER

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honey 4 hours ago

yeah no i get it
you just have to understand how lowly that was of you and i cant have that happening again. you have a caring parent youre able to be transparent with and i dont so i feel like even if i did have enough shit to do the same thing back, you wouldnt get the point
i dont think you had any right to wisecrack in response to all my clearly frantic vent posts but i completely get why you would
all i want is for you to get off my throat because you make my anxiety spike and i think i did the same to you at some point
but yeah

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subspace t. mine 4 hours ago

also why are you allowed to bring up eupd but i cant bring up delusional disorder and have you understand how it affects my behavior... /genq /nm

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subspace t. mine 4 hours ago