Aro or Ace make no sense

I genuinely don't understand people who aren't AroAce but are just one or the other.

Aromatic makes no sense. It's one thing to say you have no desire for what society imagines a relationship to be but to then still want or end up in "queerplatonic" relationships. Ultimately the only difference between a *romantic* act and a *platonic* act is 1.Intent and 2.Interpretation. The only difference between me giving flowers to a friend and me giving flowers to a partner is that I intend for one to be friendly the other one romantic. I genuinely cannot think of a single act of romance (that doesn't involve kissing or sex) that I also wouldn't gladly do with a friend. Also if we can acknowledge that gender is a social construct, we can acknowledge that so is romance. It's completely subjective. For one person romance is big gestures and flowers and chocolates. Others it's learning to cook your partner's favourite meal or picking up an extra chore to lighten you partners day. And every relationship is different. I know happy couples that sleep in different rooms because one snores so loud the other one can't sleep. There is no one way to do it..
Those a "queerplatonic" relationship is literally just friendship or a relationship. That's your best friend. No offence but a friend you don't love or have no emotional connection/intimacy with is an acquaintance, a friendly acquaintance maybe but no more then that. And if you HAVE to have a different label we already have words for that. Partner, Companions etc..

As for asexual. Sexuality is a spectrum. Asexuality isn't.
If you lack libido that's a medical condition (no that you need to "fix it, live how you want), if it's because of repulsion to sex or trauma that's a mental condition. If you have a lack of "sexual" attraction but still get horny and have sex and are attracted to your partner congratulations that's the same thing. It's like they parrot each other but don't put much though behind what they're actually saying. Especially when you get into those microlabels.

Do we really need "demisexual" ? Needing to feel an emotional connection before feeling sexual attraction is not controversial..

Every single person on earth feels attraction differently. Like yes sometimes you want to date people you don't want to have sex with and sometimes you want to have sex with people who you don't want to date but ultimately attraction is attraction, and separating it into two neat clinical piles ("romantic" attraction or "sexual" attraction) takes away from the millions little ways attraction can affect you and has done incredible damage to our community.

You either feel attraction or you don't. Anything past that doesn't fit those labels.

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anonymous Relationships May 11, 2026 at 2:08 am 0 0