WAS IT ALL JUST CASUAL?

everything, from late night talks to rants to almost talking everyday to being comfortable to say anything to be playing volleyball everyday; was it all casual? I don't even know what to do anymore, I don't know what to feel or even how I feel. I'm so confused. Am I special or am I just like anyone else? It seems like it; but why do I feel like I'm not like anyone else? Maybe I'm just a great friend right? I get jealous but I can handle it. Jealous with what? Maybe I'm a bit jealous that you're starting to get close with my best friend. I don't know what it is, maybe it's cause you're acting the same way to her just like how you acted to me. Or maybe I'm not jealous but scared to lose you or my best friend? That's why I don't like sharing my feelings, it'll only hurt someone. I hate this so much. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate you. I hate how I have feelings for you; you make every single late night talk casual. I always find myself looking for you. Seeing you slightly in school even just for a second makes my whole day. Why do you smile like that when we're talking? As far as I know, I'm not even funny? I'm all awkward and everything. Stop that. I'm trying to avoid you soooo badly cause I don't want this to get worse but who could say no to your "hey, let's play volleyball!" every after school. It's fine to be friends with my bsf cause I already know how sad your life is right now but in exchange for that I'll have to distance myself away from you because I might do or say something that'll risk me losing the both of you. I love you both and I really didn't want to change anything between us but I love you both so much that maybe it's only right for me to act and think only as "friends." You always indirectly friend-zone me, OKAY I GET IT YOU DON'T HAVE A CRUSH. Anyways, all I can say to you guys is I'm super duper sorry if I act weirdly or different. I'm trying to control myself. It's none of your guy's fault all is on me. I hate myself

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mikasa Crushes April 26, 2026 at 9:29 am 0 0