unappreciated / misunderstood

son left for college 9 months back. family dynamics shifted. now its me with a wife and a daughter. a patient wife. but I still get accused by both of what they clearly do themselves. apparently, I'm selfish. I'm a complainer. I don't care about anyone other than myself. how does one measure selfishness? its inherent in all of us to some degree - we do have to look out for ourselves. and we can't just be taken for granted. Regrettably, I've made mistakes in the past. I got help. I apologized profusely. but my wife does carry the wounds. And I have to live with that. we are in counseling. We manage. I love the companionship. But occasionally - I hear things from them where the hypocrisy is clear as a mountain stream. I drive my daughter on a 2 hour commute 3 times a week for her travel sport. I do it. I don't complain. I shut my mouth. I'm present. I support it. And I am not thanked. My wife has a thankless job too. And now I am in FLA for one of my girl;s competitions. I'm running around, getting meals for her. The schedules set forth by the coaches are nuts. It was me and my daughter flying in very early after a practice the night b4 that took us until 10:30. And then they expect us to show up 2000 miles away by 1PM the next day. For 2 practices. It's crazy. I get her there on time. but it's nuts. and my daughter is complaining about how much time the rental car takes. things that I have no control over become my fault. I just absorb it all. I am asked to drive her and her teammates to different places for other team obligations. and where are those other parents. they don't say thanks. my wife shows up the next day. she is going through her own family or origin stress. I listen to it. I see how much it sucks for her. and with the slightest slip of the tongue at dinner last night - she accuses me of complaining. Jesus! Fuck this. I take all this shit from my daughter and meet the demands of her coaches. And my wife shows up a day later and I'm apparently the asshole. Am I the asshole? Well, that's why I'm here. Because getting the finger pointed at me after all that I do to keep the trains running on time - that drives a guy nuts. I could say more, but now I've been asked to fetch something else for my kid. thanks for listening

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anonymous Relationships May 01, 2026 at 8:55 am 0 0