typical teenage angst

it's bad and i know it but oh my fucking god, it pisses me off so much when my mother tries asking 'how i feel' about my grades when that actually doesn't fucking matter to her. she's always trying to compare me to the smart students at my school because for some reason she can't handle the mere idea of her precious daughter being even REMOTELY bad at something compared to others. i'm doing well in school. better than the national average. i might not be a fucking genius, but i don't need to be one. my best subject, the one i'm clearly most passionate about, my parents don't even care about because it won't do anything for my 'future career in medicine'. it doesn't matter how well i do in my best subject because to them it's just extra fucking baggage. if i get only (only???) an A and not an A*, they think it's the fucking end of the world, that my entire future is compromised, that their future is compromised. CAN YOU BE FUCKING HAPPY FOR ME FOR ONCE. PLEASE I FUCKING BEG YOU SHOW SOME PRIDE. SHOW SOME FUCKING FAITH IN ME INSTEAD OF DECIDING THAT I'M THE DISAPPOINTMENT HERE BECAUSE I CAN'T LIVE UP TO YOUR UNFATHOMABLE EXPECTATIONS. i never wanted to do medicine, i never wanted to be a doctor, those ideas were forced onto me before i was able to talk because you still had the mindset of someone living in a third world country that medicine would guarantee money. bitch i don't give a fuck how much money i make, as long as i make enough and as long as i'm happy. but apparently woeking 12 hour shifts, witnessing the horrors of the human body, getting less than 5 hours of sleep, not being able to even have a hobby, being forced to go through traumatic experiences and not have time to process them, deal with confused and aggressive and violent patients everyday—apparently all of that is worth it. because i have money. what's the point in money if i'm going to be dead before spending any of it? FUCK EVERYTHING MAN i dont want to do medicine and i hate how unsupportive my parents are even if i do well. my dad will literally hear an amazing great and just nod his head and say 'well you have to get that grade. no other option' and then fucking move on. bitch i'm your CHILD. i'm going to want your approval and your positive reactions. if you're telling me a bad grade gets me beaten and a good grade gets me stonewalling and a fucking attitude then i'm just going to stop fucking trying. fuck all of you i'm tired of being someone i'm not.

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anonymous Other June 24, 2025 at 4:30 pm 1 0