tired

Hi. It's me.
I just want to tell you something in case you ever read this someday.
First of all, I love my parents so much. But I'm so tired. Even though my life can be fun sometimes, I often feel exhausted, stressed, and like I want to give up.
I see my mother suffering every day just to feed our family. She hides how much she's struggling, but I can see it, and it hurts me to watch her go through that. Seeing her suffer makes me suffer too.
I want to tell you that I'm tired, and one day I might actually give up. I've thought about it many times, but I always push those thoughts away because I can't bear the thought of seeing my parents cry because of me.
The reason I don't attend class most of the time is because of my anxiety. I'm scared of being scolded by my teachers in front of my classmates, so I avoid going to school.
People see me as the friend who's always smiling and making everyone laugh. But deep inside, I'm tired, hurt, and depressed. I don't even know why I feel this way. My life isn't the worst, yet I still feel so empty sometimes.
Sometimes I don't even want to stay at home because my father gets mad at me for no reason. When he's angry, he calls me names like "whore" and other hurtful things. Even though I rarely go out or spend time with friends, he still thinks those things about me. His words stay in my head, and they hurt more than he probably realizes.
As for my mom, she's different. She's kind, fun, and never makes me feel left out. She's the reason I'm still here. Even when I don't want to live anymore, I think about her, and that stops me.
I keep telling everyone that I would never think about suicide, but the truth is, I have. Many times. I almost attempted it before, but every time I think about my mom, I stop myself.
I've wanted to tell her everything, to cry and let it all out, but my mind keeps telling me to stay quiet. So I've kept everything to myself for a long time now—probably around seven months.
I'm tired of pretending I'm okay.
I just hope that one day, I can finally tell someone how I've really been feeling.
I'm really glad you told someone today, even if it was me. And I'd really like to help you take one more step. If telling your mom everything feels too hard, we can write a message together that says exactly what you need her to know without having to say it out loud. I can help you with that.

Lately, I've been crying almost every night. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying. It's like everything I've been holding in all day suddenly becomes too heavy. I stay awake thinking about everything that's wrong with me, wondering why I feel this way. I wish I could just have one peaceful night where my mind would finally let me rest.

The hardest part is pretending that everything is okay. I smile, laugh, and joke around because I don't want anyone to worry about me. Everyone thinks I'm happy, but they don't see what happens when I'm alone. They don't see the tears, the overthinking, or the moments when I feel completely empty.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone would notice how much I'm struggling if I stopped pretending. I don't want people to pity me—I just want someone to understand me. I want someone to ask if I'm really okay and stay long enough to hear the honest answer.

I don't hate my life, and I don't hate the people I love. I'm just tired of carrying this pain by myself. I miss the version of me that could smile without forcing it. I hope that one day I can wake up and not feel so heavy anymore. More than anything, I hope I find the courage to tell someone what I've been hiding, because I don't want to keep fighting this battle alone.

And honestly, I've been keeping so much inside because I don't know how to explain what I've been feeling. Some days I laugh, smile, and act like everything is okay, but deep inside I'm exhausted. It's like I'm carrying a weight that never goes away. I keep telling myself that tomorrow will be better, but there are days when it's hard to believe that.

I wish people could see what's going on inside my head instead of only seeing the version of me that pretends to be fine. I'm trying my best, even when it doesn't look like it. Sometimes I don't even understand why I feel this way, and that's one of the hardest parts.

I don't want anyone to think I'm weak or that I'm asking for attention. I just want to be honest for once. I'm tired of hiding my feelings and pretending I'm okay when I'm not. Even though life has happy moments, there are also days when I feel completely lost and overwhelmed.

I'm still hoping that one day things will get easier. Maybe I won't always feel this heavy. Maybe I'll find the strength to keep moving forward, one day at a time. Until then, I'll keep trying, even if it's difficult, because a part of me still hopes that better days are waiting.

And lately, I've been carrying feelings that are difficult to explain. Some days I wake up and everything seems almost normal. I can smile, laugh with people, and even enjoy little moments. During those times, I start to believe that maybe I'm finally getting better. But then, without warning, the heavy feeling comes back. It's like a storm I never see coming. I don't always know what causes it, and that's one of the hardest parts. I keep asking myself why it keeps returning, but I don't have an answer.

I've tried to keep these feelings to myself because I don't want anyone to worry about me. I tell myself that I should be stronger or that I'll get over it if I just keep going. But hiding everything has become exhausting. Pretending I'm okay takes so much energy that, by the end of the day, I feel even more tired than before.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone would understand what it's like to feel this way. From the outside, everything might look normal, but inside I'm fighting thoughts and emotions that are hard to describe. It's not because I want attention or because I'm ungrateful for the people who care about me. It's because I'm struggling, and I've been trying to face it alone for too long.

The hardest part is how these feelings come and go. When they disappear, I think I'm finally free from them. Then they return, and I feel discouraged, wondering if I'll ever truly feel at peace. Even so, I'm trying to remind myself that difficult feelings can change, even when they come back more than once.

Writing this is my way of being honest. I don't expect anyone to solve everything for me. I just want someone to know that I've been carrying more than I've been able to say. I want to stop pretending that I'm always fine. I want to believe that asking for help isn't a sign of weakness but a step toward healing.

I'm choosing to write these words because a part of me still hopes things can get better, even if I can't always see how. I know I don't have to have every answer today. For now, I just want to take one step at a time, be honest about what I'm feeling, and let the people who care about me know that I need their support. Maybe I don't have to carry all of this by myself anymore.

Also For a long time, I've kept a part of myself hidden because I didn't know how to explain what was happening inside me. I worried that no one would understand, so staying silent felt easier than trying to find the right words. Even so, silence has become its own kind of burden. Carrying everything alone has left me feeling isolated, and I don't want to continue pretending that nothing is wrong.

There are moments when life feels lighter. I can enjoy conversations, notice little things around me, and believe that I'm finally finding my footing. Those moments remind me that I still have the ability to feel joy, even if it doesn't last as long as I wish it would. When the difficult emotions return, I try to remember those brief moments because they remind me that my feelings can change, even when they seem overwhelming.

I've spent a lot of time questioning myself. I wondered whether I was simply overreacting or whether I should have been able to handle everything on my own. Over time, I've realized that struggling doesn't make someone weak. It means they're carrying more than they were meant to carry alone. Real strength isn't hiding pain forever—it's allowing someone else to know that you're hurting.

I'm writing this because I want to stop facing everything in isolation. I don't expect perfect advice or immediate solutions. What I hope for is understanding, patience, and the chance to speak honestly without feeling ashamed. Sometimes the greatest comfort isn't hearing the perfect words. It's knowing that someone is willing to stay beside you while you work through what feels impossible.

I don't know exactly what the future will look like, but I want to give myself the opportunity to discover it. Even if progress is slow, even if some days are much harder than others, I want to believe that healing is possible one step at a time. Maybe the first step isn't finding all the answers. Maybe it's simply letting another person know that I've been struggling and allowing them to walk beside me instead of facing everything alone.

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Anonymous Other July 07, 2026 at 12:47 pm 0 0