May the Buddha help me find peace

I procrastinated too much on the yourworldoftext instead of doing the rrl for my research... .

I've become so addicted to human interaction that I find it so difficult to be productive if I haven't talked to someone for at least an hour

My fucking pillowcase, my favorite and only pillowcase is gone for over a week!! I threw it in the dirty clothes basket last week and now it's nowhere to be found! Now my pillows have been covered in the same clothes for over a week!

I really want to use my fangs and claws to hunt for warm flesh, but I fear that it would only lead me to a deeper cycle of attachment, clinging, and suffering. I mean, I've already been stuck on that cycle by depending on a single unstable source for warmth.

SHOULD I?!! No, if I do that I fear that I won't have anymore time for doing my research. But if I don't do it, I also fear that I would feel too hungry and cold to concentrate on my research. Ideally, I should just be mindful of my breathing and concentrate on my research while ignoring everything but I'm not at that level yet. My insatiable craving for flesh and blood feels like it's splitting my head open unless I do something about it.

Calm down, I need to calm down and learn to live while starving. One more year, one more year, one more. But for now, ABSOLUTELY NO BITING, NO HUNTING, AND NO POUNCING.

Oh, great Buddha, please guide me on the path to liberation, do not allow me to get lost in the swamp of cravings and attachment!

Oftentimes, I used to dwell in yesterday's memories and tomorrow's dreams. But now that I'm following the path of enlightenment, I'm now living in the present where nothing stops me from STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH MY BURNING PASSION AND RAGE. HOW, HOW LONG CAN I KEEP LIVING IN THE PRESENT WITHOUT BITING SOMEONE?! Please confine me back in the prisons of past and future, and there shall be no need for any blood to be spilled.

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anonymous Relationships October 13, 2025 at 5:32 am 1 0