Her

I've never understood what I'm going through. In September I was broken up with at my own apartment, she stayed the night, cooking lunch, dinner, and breakfast in the morning before leaving. I asked her what i did wrong and she said i did nothing. Apparently during this time i was undiagnosed, but had, both bipolar disorder and ocpd. OCPD is like ocd but with morals for context, so my mind couldn't let this slide. We had just talked the week before about how we would stay together, deciding that being in a relationship was the right fit. I couldn't figure it out, I entered therapy, and since its a slow process of growing of course my mind tormented me still. I tried to kill myself twice in October, thankful that i'm alive now. I kept trying to be friends, and also still asking what happened to both her and myself. this all led to December where i got diagnosed, received a prescription for some medicine to combat my feelings. I had two days before my prescription was ready, and I got arrested for both phone harassment, and harassment. I understand my askings got very extreme due to my mental condition, and they say i threatened her, which with the words that i said "You are in a bracket of humanity that deserves to be punished silence or killed" is semi-understandable. What i meant to say is "You are a criminal and deserve punishment matching that". She raped me, extorted a TV from me, and in total kept items from me totaling enough for grand larceny, though i know how bad the court system is for people so i didnt press charges for any of it. I went to court, chose to plead guilty, and am now required therapy, and court checkins every month for the next 13 of them. A quarter of the files the court had on me, I have learned are false, after pleading guilty. Lies curated by friends of hers, to punish me for something i didnt intend, nor do (in my opinion). I now am traumatized, I live in a small town so i am paranoid to even leave my house. Going outside comes with the potential of being locked up, scrutinized, and though it shouldnt matter, judged by my community. I know I am a good person, and bad things happen but i still wonder why she pressed charges rather than just getting a protective order, or something of the likes. Or better yet, just blocked me where i was contacting her. Im losing my mind. My reality is doom for the next 13 months. Now, before you say "well there are worse situations", I am aware. I dont like freaking out over something so simple either, but i cannot control it.

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anonymous Other May 01, 2025 at 8:54 pm 0 0