Find your match on Bumble

Have you seen those ads on YouTube? They show up all the fucking time. Here is my Bumble story.

I downloaded the app around March. I was picky at first, but then kind of started swiping on almost everyone.

I matched with someone. Being the insecure fuck that I am, I was like wow that someone would even like my dull ass.

Me and this other person began messaging. They almost immediately asked why I liked their picture. Insecure as fuck on their end. I told them I liked the picture they took at the wax museum, which was the truth.

We started messaging, and I saw effort in their responses. Not your typical one word, non answer bullshit you typically get. Then, I try to meet with them. They started doing hot and cold shit. Coming up with excuses. Waiting days to reply. I started to get tired of it. I tried one last time to meet with them for coffee, and they were weird with their response. But agreed.

I showed up and halfway expected to be stood up. They got there and seemed suspicious of me. Like they were acting overbearing, while incredibly closed off at the same time. My head told me "no" at several points, and I tried to argue that with myself. All because of the idea of it being unbelievable that someone might think I'm attractive and worth going out with.

The date didn't go anywhere. Part of me blames myself, when in reality this other person kind of sucked. They probably thought I was odd, in the same way that I thought they were. In hindsight, we both had walls up. I just wasn't as weird as they were. Even at the time, prior to the date I began to think they were childish and fake with their wording. Dating apps connect you with childish, socially inept, fucked up people who think a relationship will somehow fix everything.

I'm guilty of thinking this way too. I thought a relationship would somehow make me feel less alone. That it would give me the confidence I've lacked. That someone loving me would make me easier on myself and change my outlook. Now, I'm starting to take better care of myself and not live in survival mode. I socialize with peers a little more. I'm starting to believe that maybe I am a good person deserving of love, and that maybe one day I might find someone.

I don't even think the person I went out with knew what the hell they wanted. Most people on there don't. Not there to date. Not there to fuck. Just there.

If I find someone, it's not going to be through an app. Dating apps are just a very sad state of affairs, and I see at the time I was using Bumble, that I was clearly not ready for any sort of relationship with anyone. I really don't think I am now yet either.

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anonymous Relationships May 19, 2025 at 3:44 pm 1 0