Deleted my discord account (Final)

Ignore the previous rant about this topic, i accidentally hit send before finishing

I need to get this off my chest before I go insane. I've been trying to delete my discord account since 2020 and every time I always claw back during the grace period. Well not this time.

First, I got tired of accruing all the servers and friends for many years and it was easier for me to do a full wipe of my account than go through each server one by one and the baggage that comes with each one and decide if I want to keep being in that group. And second, a series of events that happened year after year.

It started in 2021 when I matched with someone on Bumble and we chatted over discord. I kept asking to meet up and she said she was not available. This continued for three months and I felt like people would humiliate and taunt me for not being able to go on a first date with her. Eventually I just gave up and blocked her.

While that was going on, I joined a discord server with some people from my university. That was a horrible experience. I first vented about a situation that happened in high school where people responded "[My name] you're not ready for a relationship, don't talk to girls" without offering much helpful advice or support, and not considering that I'm fucking autistic. Later in 2021, the server members tried to trick me into going to a party late at night by using a false address. I didn't go because I was skeptical and another user warned me not to in dm's, and I am glad I didn't go. Also, I was added to a "guys" channel for the male server members, then the person in the channel decided to troll with me by removing me and then adding me back in. In 2022, I used an emote so much that the admin used a bot to remove any messages containing the emote. The bot is still being used to this day. I no longer keep in contact with any of the server members and I unfriended most of them.

In 2023, a girl I met in real life from the discord server suddenly had discomfort around me even after I thought we had good rapport together. I believed that she must have gotten uncomfortable from previous messages I sent in the server public chats, so I used a bot to delete every single message I sent in the server, then left the server after.

I became active in another discord server after, but my mental state pertaining to that was still not good. Several users blocked me left and right without a reason given to me, which I found unfair because I look at their previous messages with other difficult users and they explicitly tell the users that X behavior is not okay. I then realized there is a group of users who joined the voice chat. I really wanted to be a part of the community, some of whom have seen each other in real life. So I made a ton of meme references in the chat, as well as jokes that weren't taken well. I also developed a parasocial relationship with one of the users.

In this discord server, I became increasingly stressed as a few users blocked me, my messages got less reacts than other messages, and my messages were largely ignored. A moderator joked about banning me in a talk channel and I didn't know if they were being serious or joking. It was around that time that I contacted a suicide hotline 3 times this year because I felt like my only purpose of my existence is to repulse everybody. I also had recurring nightmares of having a toxic exchange in the server and then being banned. All the while I was getting additional stress from school.

But the final straw that broke the little resolve I had left in being active in Discord was when the moderators made a private channel with me and said some of my jokes were poorly recieved, and referred me back to a joke I made about the user I had a parasocial relationship with. This moment broke me and I was mad at myself for doing that.

I was done. The little resolve I had being active in this community, and Discord as a whole, had shriveled up and died. Discord was already in my spam emails anyway after a previous situation happened, so there's that. After following along with the moderators, I voluntarily left the server, then I made an entirely new email address, changed my discord account to that new email, then changed the password, then deleted the new password and email from my computer, so there would be no way I would access my Discord account again during the 14 day grace period. My greatest bit of joy was when I logged into my Discord app with an alternate account that was friends with my old account, and saw the "Deleted User" mark show up where my old account once was. This was the little bit of twisted joy and relief I had been looking for.

I made a new discord account, but from now on I will have two accounts: a private account for personal friends, and a public account for joining online communities with strangers, so I can limit my time with online strangers and focus on real life friends and classes. I plan to rejoin some of the online communities I was in before deleting my account, but not until May after I graduate and finish the school semester so I can focus on my degree.

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anonymous Computers January 06, 2026 at 6:20 pm 1 1