no motivation

i'm just at a loss at myself more than anything, and i know it's all on me.

i'm such a serial procrastinator, i will never fucking learn, and i don't know what it is i used to be a good student before but ever since starting uni i just don't want to do anything.

i don't want to study, i don't want to get out of bed. i just wish i could exist like a blob

i have all these aspirations but i don't want to work towards them, i simply don't want them badly enough. i feel like the human equivalent of a shrug.

is it because i don't like my course? honestly i have no idea. i think i'm enjoying it, i can't tell. i'm just feeling overwhelmed whenever i even start to study, not by what i need to do - i know that much - just by all of it; the content, the material, understanding it.

i feel like a fraud and imposter, i don't even know how i've managed to convince people this long, or how i even managed to get into my uni in the first place honestly.

and now i'm in too deep with my lies to even be honest with my family about how i'm feeling, about how i've been saying i've been 'studying' but instead to jackshit.

i want to be productive, i really do, and i don't know why i'm so weak but i'm ready to give up so easily now.

why don't i care anymore?

i used to. so, so much.

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anonymous School January 08, 2026 at 10:11 am 1 0