the tea about my life

I’ve been traversing my inner world since 2022, when I read the power of now and it introduced me to a new way of living in life. It’s been a long cyclical journey, letting go of things that haunted me, the whole feeling of wrongness that permeated my being I am still purging but in a different, more conscious way now. Last year I fell in love with a hot guy I barely knew and my world shattered. You know that gorgeous sweet feeling like everything is right in the world, like there’s someone out there who your whole heart belongs to. That all of poetry, tragedy, sweet love songs are ultimately about them. I felt that way. I starved myself and felt more magnetic and beautiful than ever in my life. During the winter, I had to come to terms with the reality that he is not my twin flame. It’s been exactly a year now. I became a seasoned psychonaut, endured a lot of work stress, grew a lot from the heartbreak. My dreams are vivid, I’m more awake now than ever. On Thursday I thought I saw him. His golden/tan little pickup truck, dark brown hair and mustache, and the hat on his head. I swore it was him though it could have not been. It shook me a tiny bit. On Friday I took 1 gram mushrooms alone in the forest, taking care of myself and letting the rotten feelings come up so I could spit them out and let them be the fuel for what’s growing within me. I am more of an artist, lover, and writer than I originally thought. The dancing came back to me. My smooth tan skin, pretty jewelry, my magical hands, my gorgeous spirit, the good music. It felt like I was a real fairy. I think the last of the feelings I was projecting out towards him were integrating back into me finally. I feel more sexy and whole than I’ve ever felt, more magical and beautiful and alive. I don’t think I would be where I am now if every single thing in life had not gone the way it did. Even though there is no past or future, I am so grateful for everything surrounding me. I’m lucky to be who I am, I am taking care of myself. Learn how to care for your own comfort and happiness, shed any perspectives that don’t feel good inside and expand to the possibilities that are here. Self care is really important, so you can feel comfy and relaxed in your beautiful body so that you are able to be authentic and present for others. I just wanted to rant because there was a time I wanted to die for good, there are still feelings I let go of from time to time where I feel the weight of everything. It’s best to honor those feelings and let them out instead of ignoring them. Let them carry you to peace and realization that you deserve to feel whole and complete. This journey is a spiraling process. I love you and care about you and you should do what your heart knows is good for you. The heart never lies.

---

5 hearts Other August 02, 2026 at 12:13 pm 0 0