The Adventures of Chet: Iraq Vet

Chet pulls into a drive through. Automated voice greets him. "Hi. Are you signing in to use your rewards points today?" A human voice interrupts "What can n get started for you?"

"Yeah. I placed an order on the app. I don't know why y'all got this AI shit here. I want to talk to a human."

"What's the name?"

"Chet Duggan."

"Is everything on the screen correct?"

"Here we go again with the screen. Yeah it's correct. I'm just fuckin with you."

"Please pull around."

Chet waits behind another vehicle and once they go he pulls up to the window. "Do you need any sauces today?"

"No. I'm not used to sauce. When j was stationed in Iraq we didn't have but ketchup and hot sauce and it was shiiit."

Woman at drive thru hands him his food. "Have a good day."

"Yeah." Chet speeds away in his 2001 Ford pickup. "Cunt."

Chet pulls into parking space and eats while blasting country music and rap. Early Kid Rock is his favorite.

Hours later our hero arrives at speed dating. He makes a noticable snicker at all of the people there. The woman in charge of the event sees him. "Hi. Are you here for speed dating?"

"Are you? I was starting to get worried." Chet laughs.

"I'm the host. Can I have your name please and we can get you signed in."

"Chet Duggan. When I was in Iraq you had to sign in to do everything you'd think those towel heads would be smart enough to not wipe their ass with their hands if they were smart enough to use computers. But no."

Host says nothing as she enters his name into a tablet. "Here's your name tag and we'll be starting shortly."

"Thank you."

Whill Chet find love? To be continued.

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anonymous Funny November 12, 2026 at 8:58 am 0 0