Yeah, that's why I said fuck it and started working for myself. Plus I'm a clown who'll likely get government support. Government money makes me judgement proof against all my debt. They can wave papers around all they like. I'd have to go viral to make enough money for anything to be worth it.

I'll probably end up killing myself because of how people are. They make getting a good job impossible. They make keeping a job impossible. They blow through barriers and shit you learn to set in therapy like a streaker ignoring social decency. I'd say a porn star, but nothing wrong with being a thot. They're always praying anyway and so they're obviously pure and righteous.

All anyone has ever said is work harder because we're supposed to believe they worked their way up from McDonalds. Because white collars totally don't try to keep you in the lowest paying job they can. You totally don't have to fondle their balls and suck their fucking dick if you want to move up. That's why the last job i had that I thot was promising I was told despite my college degree I'd need at least 4 years of experience at the lowest rung on the ladder and saw people with less experience + education make as much if not more than me right off the bat. generic pharma.

People are fucking assholes. They're the sort of asshole who takes all your pieces in chess, resigns, and think they're fucking noble. No, you're a fucking asshole who probably could've won 30 moves ago but wanted to show off, feed your ego, and somehow thought if you threw the game anyway anyone who isn't trying to kiss your ass would still respect you.

People can call me clowns all they like because I've experienced the system they think works, and I'd rather kill myself than ever try to do what people think I should ever again.

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anonymous 2 hours ago

^ and to add someone recently on the topic of suicide brought up Matthew 27:5, where out of regret Judas gets rid of the silver he was given to give up Jesus or some shit. It's been decades since I read Matthew and I'm going off a brief summary that I skimmed IIRC.

Anywho, most people aren't Jesus.
They aren't coming back once they're gone.
Your actions have consequences and they can negatively impact others unfairly too.
Your guilt after the fact does nothing to change anything unless you put forth active effort, which most people don't do.

So I'm sorry people are assholes and look for every way possible to justify their assholeness instead of actually working on being better people and helping people. Shits bullshit

I hope those people call me a clown.
I want them to think of me as a clown. that shit means I accomplished something if these shitty ass people think I'm a clown. The last thing I'd want is their acceptance.

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anonymous 2 hours ago