Retard Wars: Episode Three - Revenge of the Shit

You get up at the crack of dawn to go to work, and are laying in bed. Your wife who you haven't fucked in months is asleep on the couch. You hit the snooze button until you have JUST enough time to get to work. You get to work and are miserable and don't talk to anyone. You hear the other people bitching about their meaningless lives and are pissed at how much better they have it. You resent the younger people because they have the chances that you no longer do.

Wife calls you during your break and argues with you about picking up supper. You overdraft your bank account to pick up Chinese for you and wife, and Sonic for retard brat son.

You get home. You're tired and just want to eat and maybe sit down for a minute or two before having to go to bed. You go to the bathroom and there is literal shit everywhere. Like the scene on Dumb and Dumberer but not with chocolate. Shit on the side of the tub and wiped from toilet paper onto the side of the sink cabinet. You now can't even go to the bathroom because it smells so bad and there is shit rubbed on the toliet seat.

You walk up to the wife and tell her "I just wanted my fucking dick sucked! That's all I wanted." And she hates you a little more for saying it the 88,000th time. Tard son is in his room screaming his head off as he watches creepy 30 year olds playing Minecraft on YouTube.

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anonymous Funny November 06, 2026 at 6:48 pm 0 0