my twin

hi. so i’m not specifically writing this bc i’m angry. im actually writing bc i feel sad. i’ve been crying myself to sleep almost every night. every motherfucking night. and i’m just tired. it might sound stupid but it’s really affecting my mental health, especially bc i’ve had such a sad past were i used to cope with pain differently. now thankfully, i stopped it, but this shit really makes me wanna do it again and i promised myself to never do it again bc of how teary and sad i get when i think of it. i feel everybody just likes my twin more than me. boys find her more good looking, funnier, better, etc. more girls are friends with her as well. almost every time i went to the mall with my twin sister, someone has to come up and ask for her snap and i’m always the one standing there like a fucking idiot. boys in school always have a crush on my sister, but never me. she’s more social than me, so i thought that was maybe the problem so i tried being more social and talking more and getting out of my shell. but still nothing happens. no one just magically starts crushing on me. i just don’t know what is it. a lot of people confuse between us, so if we’re so alike in looks then what makes us so different in their eyes? boys always come up to her and start conversations but i’m always the one just standing there. and it’s so fucking embarrassing. multiple boys have also called me ugly, and that i’m “the ugly twin” and it’s just so fucking annoying. it’s like the devil couldn’t reach me so he sent me a twin sister that’s more good looking than me. what is it? the hair? we both of curly hair. the body/weight? we both have the same body and the same weight. the eyes? we both have brown eyes? what the fuck is it?? this shit really makes me wanna cry and just wanna relapse but i just don’t wanna go through that shit again. i just hate myself.

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anonymous Other October 12, 2024 at 7:38 am 1 3