My friends,,

2 of my friends specifically tire me out so much. I'll call them R and M. Last week or so, all 3 of us had a sleepover at MY HOUSE, and the entire sleepover, i was practically ignored. It was the 2 of them being chaotic and energetic, fucking tackling each other and whatever, like... ur 14. ok ik that sounds like im the fun police here, but im NOT. tackling each other is all silly goofy whatever, how fun, but it's not when you feel like ur 3rd wheeling with ur friends in your own house. it sucks, man. I felt terrible the entire 2 days they were over. Also, one of them weren't even supposed to be there. My mother invited M over bc she currently doesnt have a house (like her house flooded so she's staying at a hotel rn and it sucks), so i didnt mind having her come over, bc we're friends!!!! then R texted me whilst i was cleaning my room, and i accidentally told them that M was coming over (i wrote an entire text saying that M was coming over and i needed to clean, i was gonna delete it but i accidentally pressed enter,,,) and he asked if he could come over. I reluctantly said yes, bc i dont know how to say no to people, plus i knew that M and R are really close. Like, ill probably write another entire rant abt them in general.... but anyways!! At the sleepover, they were ignoring me, basically it was either 1. R and M being chaotic together, with me in the corner, or 2. the 3 of us just silently doing our own thing. It was bad... and EVEN WORSE WITH THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS!! since R wasn't supposed to come, we didnt rlly know what to do abt the sleeping arrangements, bc M's parents are way too overprotected, and my mom's a bit slow, so M's parents said that M has to sleep alone (as in only her in a bed) but my mother took it as M having to sleep in an entirely different room??? but ya, we didnt want that, and M knew that if she slept alone, on my pull out couch in the living room, she wouldn't be able to sleep. BUT! R is uh, clingy ig, so he has to sleep with another person next to him, or with a bunch of blankets and plushies ontop of him. so, he asked me to sleep with him, and i was like "um, fine" even though i HATED that. it was so uncomfy... like... idk it was weird. I literally couldn't fall asleep for most of the night. i got like 2 or less hours of sleep, bc i couldn't fall asleep with him RIGHT next to me. I hated it, so much... like, i know he wouldn't do anything to me, he's not that type of person... but idk. I just hate having others invade MY place, and act like they live there. It was *my* bed, not his, and it was just weird and uncomfy, so in the morning i was tired (but i always am so..)
But yeah, we also had gone to dollarama to get some stuff, and M got R a whole buncha stuff (3 packs of candy, a drink, a fan) and me? nothing. that sounds rlly like.. greedy, but idk. she didn't even get the candy for the group, which would've made more sense, since its 3 of us,,, but idk that might just be me. (also more evidence of M favouring R.)
In the morning, with one of the packs of candies, R and M kept throwing them at each other?? like, they were big gummies, and M chucked one at R so hard he got hurt. He was defiantly over reacting tho, bc i got hit in the arm in the crossfire of them (yes, once again i was not being included...) and it didn't hurt TOO bad. It hurt quite a bit for a fucking GUMMY CANDY, but he was like "it's gonna bruise!!" like stfu. sorry, i love him (in a friend way) but... he pisses me off sometimes. ill make another rant for him...
so, we were all SUPPOSED to be getting ready to leave on the 2nd day, since it was our other friend's, A's, party, but while my mom was like "guys clean up, pack up we're going in 10 minutes" they just... didnt do anything??? like, M was sort of packing up, but R literally wasnt doing SHIT. like... what the fuck. Oh yeah, they totally trashed my house, too. Thats a bit dramatic, but they had their things EVERYWHERE, scraps of paper and garbage everywhere, and the stupid gummy things too that *I* had to clean up. pmo pmo pmo... grrrgrgg.. anyhow, we go to the party, it's fine, then A asks for us to sleepover. I did NOT want to, but decided to bc I knew that R and M would third wheel A if i wasnt there, so i stayed. And... i was right!!! me and A hung out, and R and M hung out. it wasn't bad, though, bc i actually had a friend!!! quite fun, actually. but the first one at my house? Fucking terrible. And now they're inviting me to ANOTHER sleepover, at R's house. I DONT WANT TO GOOOOOOO URURURGRRHRHRHRHHHHHH like, i KNOW they're just gonna do their own thing, and it's even WORSE bc it's not my house!!!!! and i am TERRIFIED of R's parents... Like, this was another point, but R and M were trauma dumping abt their parents, and relating to each other how their parents used to legit abuse them, and i was just there. I felt so like... weird. Like a stranger in my own home. Like, obviously that's terrible, and i feel so bad for them (and i hate their parents), but in my own perspective, with my own issues, i felt worse. Bc it was them bonding, and talking, and relating to one another, and i was just there. I wasn't able to relate, or add anything into the conversation, since compared to their trauma, my life is amazing. I verbally said that out loud, and only M briefly said smth about me invalidating my own trauma. R didn't say anything, that i remember of. My memory is quite bad. But yea... i hated that sleepover, and to do it AGAIN, on a saturday??? no. Actually, saturday makes sense, it's just that this entire week i have been at a day camp. I leave at like 7:30-45 and come back home at roughly 6, so i am EXGHAUSTED. I was so looking forward to the weekend, specifically SATURDAY so i can sleep and just... relax. But no!!!! stupid fucking sleepover, that of COURSE i said yes to, because i'm a pushover. yay....
oh and also, just another cherry on this dumpster fire that's crossdressing as a cake, M wants to go swimming. I hate swimming. Like.. i REALLY despise swimsuits and stuff like that. Mainly the reason for that being i have scars on my thighs, so i can't exactly hide them in a swimsuit, also i just like,, hate my feet. is that weird???? i have like, the opposite of a foot fetish. foot hatred. foot turn-off??? idk man, it just makes me uncomfortable. just let me cover myself up grrg. but knowing how M is, she'll probably beg or smth... and either i'll give in and deal with being VERY uncomfortable, or just go nonverbal. idk, i guess we'll see, unless i just don't go. I might do that.
anyways!!!! thanks for reading my rant ig lmao.

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milo Friends July 04, 2025 at 9:43 pm 0 0