I hate my aunt

So my dad died a few days before the end of 2024. Aunt has been helping me and mom with organizing everything after his death, but God, does talking with her remind me why I hate her in the first place. Yes, shes helped us, but its always these snide comments that piss me off. Ever since my mom has shared more of her childhood living in China, aunt has been trying to teach me this new "American" way. Says that my mother's childhood in the poorer areas of China and the way she was raised is "dirty", "uncivilized", "no manners". She says that her help is "free" but then complains about it or about having to buy stuff to help maintain the house thay my mom just pays her to stop. How fucking dare you.

Hell, she's used the EULOGY I wrote to my dad and let her read at his funeral against me when I said no to dinner out with family since it was dark, rainy, and somewhere I had never driven before and just to make me do stuff in general.

She wants me to go to a family's wedding, but I don't want to drive alone. Mom can't take off work. Told her I'd go if she can sort arrangement. Had a phone call recently with concerns of the dress I'd bought for the wedding, specifically the color. While I was on the phone with my aunt and another family member, they were discussing teaching me makeup and then started arguing while I was on the phone. I was stressed and told her I wanted to drop the subject. She did not take it well, telling me how I was "ungrateful", "grow up", and how when mom dies, the only people I'll have to depend on is them, my family. Now shes gone off on my mom, refusing to help her with paperwork they've been going over for the last month (my mom's english isnt that good and she's still learning to take care of the bills). Apparently, shes been yelling at my mom to go with me to the wedding even though she can't take off and her income is the only thing keeping up our bills. Told my mom that if I don't go, Ill be "unsociable" like her and won't have any friends even though I have 4 friends I've been with since MIDDLE SCHOOL. Aunt told my mom that I have no manners like her and have all these problems which means I won't succeed.

I just so angry. I hate having to depend on my aunt. I don't want to ask her anything. I'm on this constant edge of anxiety that if I say the wrong thing or do one thing wrong, shes just going to put it on my mom. I'm so close to just telling her I'll do this all on my own, that I don't need her, but I'm scared she's going to twist this all back on my other extended family and they won't help me and mom anymore. I don't think I can even tell my family about all this because they seem to idolize her, love her. And I'm just going to be the overdramtic niece who doesn't know how to be grateful. Like I appreciate the things she's done, but the things she says is not okay, doesn't matter if she's family. I feel like I'm making myself sick with all this anxiety on top of worrying about scholarships, how I'll find a job to help pay my tuition, helping mom while still in school, staying on top of school and building my resume. I feel so incompetent, like nothing I do will be enough, or maybe I'm going crazy. I don't know anymore.

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anonymous Home May 24, 2025 at 1:00 am 0 0