Attitudes

I can’t take it anymore. I keep trying to tell myself that things are okay and that I’m okay, but nothing is working at this point.. and I deeply hate it. Things keep going down south and it’s just hard at this point. Today, I went to a friend’s house today. We went for a walk, sang in her room some, learned 3 dances together, had spaghetti and garlic bread for lunch, watched a movie, and played with her dog. Things were awesome. I had lots of fun with her, and had a great time. Speaking of which, she is actually the first friend’s house I’ve ever been to in my life. We got to hang out together for about 6 hours and then her parents had to drop me off back at home. Once I got home I was still full of energy & happiness while going into my room to change clothes since my dad told me too (my mom is allergic to dogs and I pet my friend’s dog, so some fur could’ve went on me). Once I got upstairs to change I found some different pants and socks, but I also wanted to wear another long sleeved-shirt, but I only really have two. The one I was wearing before was a black one and I wanted to wear my pink one so that I wouldn’t have to wear a t-shirt (it’s cold where I am sort of, but I am wearing a coat). I looked everywhere in my room, looked in every single one of my drawers in my dresser about 5 times each and then gave up. I asked my sister if she’s seen it anywhere and she said she hasn’t, so I asked if she could check in the laundry room, so she did. I waited for her to come back to my room and after around 2-3 minutes she came back and said she couldn’t find it/it wasn’t there but found one of my t-shirts. I said okay, and then just put a t-shirt on so I could go downstairs myself to see if it was there. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs I went to the laundry room and as soon as I walk in, what do I see? My long-sleeved pink shirt on the folding table. It was in plain sight too, you just had to use your eyes. My sister was still downstairs so I called her name and said that the shirt was literally on the folding table. She apologized quietly, and then continued to chat with my dad about things. Finally, we were going out for dinner. We went in the car and my dad pulled the car out of garage. In the car, my dad was saying things about if we’re having good attitudes or something similar. My sister (she’s older than me) said that she was and I said that I wasn’t really. My dad responded with that we all want ‘good’ attitudes. After a few minutes I explained to him about what happened with the shirt and then soon after all of that, the subject changed to how I should be thankful for all the things my family has been doing for me for the past 2-ish days. I got to go to a school dance, we were able to give one of my other friends a ride back home from the dance, and I got to go to a friend’s house today. Everything during those days, they were about ‘me’. I never told my family that I wasn’t thankful for what they’ve done for me, because I am thankful for what they’ve been doing for me. The only reason why I was upset was because my sister couldn’t find a shirt that was in pure sight. My father said “well she doesn’t have to look for your stuff”, but I didn’t have a shirt on at the time. He told me to just get over it since it’s about a shirt and how I have all kinds of shirts, or I could’ve just wore a sweatshirt. Somewhat later, my dad was telling me our plan for tomorrow since I have a volleyball tournament, and my sister was randomly looking at me while grabbing a water bottle from the back of our car. I was crying since my dad was yelling at me before, so that must’ve been why she was staring. I didn’t like this, so I said “can you stop looking at me?”. My dad heard this, thinking I was continuing another so called ‘attitude’ after what he just had explained and while he was explaining the plan for the next day. He said that he was getting mad, very mad, since I keep fighting with my sister. He asked me while yelling, “what’s your deal?”. I stayed silent, not going to try and give an answer because I already knew I would’ve made it worse. Now all because of this incident and my “bad attitude since I got back from my friend’s house”, I’m not allowed to go to anymore friend’s houses. That was the first time I’ve ever been to someone’s house without it being a birthday party too, and now I can’t go to anymore.

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anonymous Home March 07, 2026 at 8:04 pm 1 0