all hail the time of the late bloomer

I'll fucking revel in this and want to shout it on here. Like that song Tonight by Seether. I know no one really has a perfect life. Most got to not live in crisis mode and constant fear, unlike me growing up. My late teens/early 20s I had every fucking odd stacked against me. I had a lifetime of fucked up shit that was coming to the surface from repressing it, the drama of my life that was like Shameless where I was always caught in the middle of some sort of conflict, the constant fear of homelessness, on top of the normal coming-of-age shit of trying to get things established in your life at that point. I was having to work and deal with 100X more than the people around me to even try to achieve the same things.

I didn't get to go to concerts or anything like that. I didn't have friends. The people I lived with kept tabs on me. They went through my stuff. I remember being badgered once for coming home 30 minutes later than normal because I had gone to a job interview after school. I had barely an ability to work and go to school. I would sneak off about once a month to have "date night" which was me going to safe, legal, family friendly places. Usually eating like Sonic or somewhere and then going roller skating. I'd be spending like $30 total on my evening, and then worrying about it because I always feared homelessness.

I felt so behind my peers because I didn't have a childhood growing up, and my young adult life was shit too. I felt sad and depressed because I just wanted to have a chance and ability to life my life.

Now, I'm in my 30s. The people who acted like spoiled drunken retards are now washed up, ugly, and did whatever they did to fuck up their lives. Most people I think fall into a sort of middle ground to where they got to do some shit but weren't bad people and didn't really fuck up their lives and are now probably doing okay but maybe wish they'd have done some things different. Then there's people like me, the late late late late bloomers who are just now able to have a chance.

I went to my first concert last year. I've been on actual, real vacations in the last couple of years. I'm not rich, but am finally not at a point of constant worrying and feeling like I have to hoard every penny because of catastrophe striking. I have a cushion. I'm also not in crisis anymore, knock on wood.

I'm not about to start drinking or doing drugs. Also, not going to go out and be a sexual deviant. I'm just going to live a quiet, stable, modest, peaceful life. I'll let myself buy random model kits and things that I wanted in the past and would talk myself out of because I either couldn't afford it or was afraid to spend any money on myself.

I keep having this hot blooded feeling inside like now's my time and if not now than when? Again, I'm not bankruptuing myself. I'm not being reckless. I'm just taking care of me for a change. I'm actually able to go to a place or two, or whatever. It's all so different and foreign to me.

I hope to never be in fullblown crisis ever again. I know eventually the newness of this feeling will subside, but I hope my life will still be enjoyable. I'll eventually have done everything that I want to do, I don't have any impossible goals or aspirations. And hopefully in about 10ish years I'll settle down with someone who is like me, and unlike the other washed up fucks, we'll both still look good. That's what I hope for.

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anonymous Other March 12, 2026 at 12:09 am 0 0