A Major Fucking What If

Imma start with this, I don’t think I want to kill myself.


…However, I do think about it. I’m currently 2-3 without self harm which I think Is pretty good for my current mindset. I’ve managed this trick where I convince my brain that I’m too lazy to do it. It’s been working ok. But tonight was another one of those nights where I considered it. I feel so fucking terrible right now, near sobbing actually. So I’m mentally weighing the pros and cons of killing myself. Realistically, I’m too much of a pussy to go through with it, but what if I wasn’t? People around me say they care, but my own mother, who witnessed my cutting, asked if I drew on my scars. So do they really care? I really wish I had someone to help me out here. Someone I could talk to who wouldn’t spit out bland words to shrugs me off.

I do actually have a boyfriend, but we’ll be together two months tomorrow and I don’t want to scare him by telling him how bad I feel. I know he likes me, but this still isn’t an easy thing to talk about.

-Den

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Den Other June 14, 2026 at 9:51 pm 0 0