Pathetic

Genuinely pathetic is such a scary and insulting insult. Ive never gotten it but im scared one day i will. Why? because i feel pathetic, hella. I dont know why but i love to self sabotage myself. If i think about it, i can really make friend and talk to people, if i tried. But my mind and my social awkwardness says otherwise. I tried, i really tried to talk to people and indulge in conversations but it feels like no one cares. I think no one cares. Is it just me? Does it happen to anyone else? my friends say they relate to me but clearly you dont. You can actually talk to people, i cant even talk to someone ONLINE! like am i really that stupid or what?!? I dont know how to be a better me because i cant be a better me. Maybe everyone just doesnt even like me at this point. I have no one to relate to or talk to this about, i just wish i knew that someone actually related to me was in the same situation, maybe we would get along better. yet i probably would ghost them or do some stupid shit because i was also blessed with the mighty avoidant attachment. im really pathetic. And all this, is already making me want to co silent for i dont even know how long. I just dont want to do anything. I wish i was a ghost, or i wish i could talk to people. i think everyone hates me, or just finds me annoying, im sorry. Im complaining when i know i can probably fix this but i will never actually fix it. But this is already my life and i cant turn back.

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anonymous Other July 11, 2025 at 2:17 am 0 0