I DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND THIS CRUEL WORLD

This is my first time using this website because I don't fucking know where am I gonna express this shit. As I am typing this, I'm crying and don't see my screen very well, please look out for grammatical errors. (English isn't my first language.)

Short introduction: Hello, I'm Minzs (Not my real name). I'm 17 years old and I'm in my last year of high school.

1. So, I've been frustrated recently of how shitty everything is in my environment. Recently I took an entrance exam for a university and I don't think I did well. I'm just hoping and praying I'll pass so I will rub it in my aunts face. Because before I took the exam, I found out my aunt was against me going to that specific university. She fucking said this behind my back and told my family except me. She told them I shouldn't go to this university because my brother is already studying in that university and she also said that my parents are gonna have a hard time paying for tuition because it's a prestigious school. Girl, my parents are well off thank you??? And who the fuck are you to decide to where am I going?? Just because your favorite niece is studying in that university too doesn't fucking mean I shouldn't?? Do you only want her to have the spotlight and not let me shine?? My brother and cousin go to the same school and my aunts favor my cousin a lot for no fucking good reason. Just cause her daddy have money doesn't mean you have to be goody two-shoes to his illegitimate child. You're not gonna get something off your favorite niece so fucking stay away.

That fucking aunt has made me fucking miserable my whole fucking life just cause they think we don't have money. Oh, honey... we do, we just don't flaunt it. And it's HARD EARNED money<3. My aunt and MY DAD compares me to my cousin, making me feel like I'm not enough. While I'm here drowning in arts, editing, learning languages, designing AND academics and yet I don't get the same treatment they give her? Wow.

I have gone through getting stalked and getting sexually assaulted and none of my family members did something about it, but you know what they did? THEY BLAMED ME. FOR WHAT?? FOR MEN AND WOMEN BEING WEIRD?? but when my cousin just tripped, EVERYONE PANICS AND BRINGS HER TO A CLINIC. I've been fucking selfless my whole entire fucking life and I cannot take it anymore.

2. I'm not diagnosed but I know I'm going through ED. I'm FAT (65kg and 142 cm) and I keep getting shamed for it. I've done what I can fucking do to lose weight but it's so hard. It's frustrating. I've skipped meals, restricted calorie intake, going for days without eating, exercised, worked out BUT NONE worked. I also fucking hate bitches who say they're fat when they are visibly skinny and saying it in front of someone clearly bigger than them. Stop fishing for compliments, you know you aren't fucking fat SHUT THE FUCK UP. You don't know the the struggle of someone like me goes through everyday, so shut your fucking mouth if you have nothing else to say than complaining how fat you are. (Only talking about those who fish for compliments and is intentionally making bigger girls feel insecure)


I want to get better. I want to end my misery. I just want to be fucking happy again for who am I.

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anonymous Body November 10, 2025 at 3:46 am 0 0