shouldve went to america

pretended to go to america for a holiday then offed myself in some remote area where they wouldnt find me so my body would never be placed in a hospital and it would just be like i never existed.

people always say shit like dont be afraid to seek help dont be afraid to speak up but every time i try too i feel more and more ridiculous that i even wasted my time trying to speak at all. no one fucking understands bc people have different life experiences. for example people who are socialable arent going to understand the problems of someone who isnt or they arent going ti ever know what it feels like to be alienated from peers of your own age group.

if you havent done it all by 30 dont bother trying to exist past the age of 50. no one going to give a shit if you are dead or alive after the age of 50. every other person and their granny is a wanna be internet star and i dont know why cause its all fucking pointless its all look at them and who they get to spend their life with. some of us dont have a single friend to share anything with and it just fucking sucks that people overuse these platforms to boast and gloat about themselves when they probably never think of those who dont have any friends to do anything fun with on the weekends.

but the internet will try to tell me its my fault and its my responsibilty or something of the sorts. idek i have tried every website and its all just the same junk filled garbage that makes my brain feel like mush after some time of using it.

the only comforting thought i have is that one day will eventually be my last day on this god awful useless waste of space existence that was unfairly given to me.

either way the main thing i have learnt is that society is shit, people suck or they just dont try to understand other peoples problems, if they show they dont care about you despite saying xyz thing then they going to find other better friends so where does that leave me? every other person is so flakey, they might say one thing but then do something else so they dont really care for you they just care what you can do for them socially if you dont benefit them socially then they going to not bother with you.

that or everywhere i go people seem to treat me like some weird alien who doesnt get a single chance to socialise with them or theres noise competitions of who can be the loudest or who can hog the conversations for themselves

the only other thing im certain of is that death is actually peaceful and nothing to be sad about

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no one Other May 07, 2024 at 10:44 am 0 0